We make basically the same amount. In terms of the bills, we BOTH are contributing equally. She pays a whole bunch of bills and I pay a buch of bills. She does NOT really do whatever she wants, we both seem committed to paying off the bills of the FAMILY. In terms of the housework, she does more then me, but I do as much as I can (or am allowed). I should cook more. Remember, I have tried the worlds greatest Dad and husband approach before (it does NOT win desire). Soemtimes I think that she intentionally makes SURE that I can not do some of the chores around the house, as that might make her feel OBLIGATED to me in some way.
With the exception of your job, stop doing ALL of your half of the M. This will free up all your non-working time to do what you want, spend time with your kids, etc.
The goal is to get her attention. I would imagine you will get it within a week. If she asks you to do something, respond with... "Hmmm. No, I don't think I will. I just don't feel like it."
Do not engage with her. Do not respond to her if her head spins off her shoulders. Wait until she approaches you in a calm and concerned manner. ANY OTHER approach isn't valid.
Make sure to initiate sex every night. Make sure you get your O first. Finish her off if you feel like it. If not, roll over and go to sleep.
Can you do this and not cave in... even if it takes months for her to approach you in a calm/concerned manner?
The overall boundary is: "I will not participate in a marriage absent of mutual desire and respect."
