Cac, which would you be more willing to respond to:
"Cac, get your sorry azz off that couch and take out the fcking garbage. NOW!"
OR
"Cac, could you please take out the trash for me? It's overflowing and I need some help."
I think both sentences are clearly communicating what it is I want. I'm not most women. So. Which, to you, would you be more willing to respond to, or would it not matter to you?
The answer is "It depends".
She can say the latter at normal volume and have it come across far more contemptuously than the former shouted at the top of her lungs. I've had her scream an expletive-laden request in a "friendly" manner, and ever-so-sweetly ask with a look that indicated she was disgusted with me for even having to ask. It depends.
If she has contempt for you, it's a problem no matter how loud her voice is. Generally, when she does, there is a problem completely unrelated to the garbage, which you can take out or not without affecting the real problem either way.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
