If you read all the way to the end of my last thread, you can see that I gave up all hope. I really began to move on with my life. Then what seems to happen in alot of times happened to me. That is I started talking to someone new and things started going somewhere with this new girlfriend. That is when my wife started going how do I say it? CRAZY!! I didnt have anything to hide, she told me she was thinking about seeing someone new, filed for a divroce, so I figured what the hell, I'll try and meet new people too, my marriage is over. So I signed up to one of those online dating services.
Told my wife I was talking with a girl online and it seemed like we were really hitting it off. After that she was calling multiple times everyday and often she was just asking about this new girlfriend. Everytime I would see her she was fighting back tears, sometimes she would be flat out crying her eyes out. During this whole seperation she had always been friendly, but then when I saw her in person this week she wouldnt look at me or even acknowledge what I was saying to her.
Tuesday I make plans to meet this girl that I had been talking to online and on the phone. My wife calls and the first thing she asks is about my new girlfriend. I tell my wife that I really seem to be hitting it off with this new woman. She askes if I have any plans for tonight because she was going to come over and pack up some of her stuff. I tell her yes, I tell her that my online friend is coming over to meet me in person. She hangs up on me and shows up about 15 minutes later, all hell precceds to break lose. She is crying her eyes out, finds the tape of our wedding and smashes it out in the driveway, finds one of our wedding photo albums and rips out all the pages and throws them out in the front yard. She then starts flipping out in the house, I threatened to call the police, but instead called her mom to try and get her to calm down. She finally calms down enough to quit causing such a scene, but says the most hurtful things she could. Tells me she's not gonna be my friend, tells me she is not ever going to talk to me again, tells me when I pick the kids up she will be gone, tells me if I ever want to talk about the kids to talk to her mom and have her mom pass it along. She then tells me congradulations, you got the last hurt. She finally leaves, but not without giving me a yard job.
She calls like 10 times that night asking me if my girlfriend is there yet. This girl finally gets here, and she was a total sweet heart, we did in fact hit things off. We stayed up all night watching DVDs and just talking and a little kissing. The wife shows up at 8am when my friend is still here. I'm like of crap, lets just go, she is here to pack up her stuff. So me and my new friend go to the park just to escape the madness. Like 20 minutes later my wife found us and she comes up to me and says she has to talk to me. So the wife and I go off to the side and talk. Wife starts bawling and crying so hard she actually throws up a couple of times. She tells me she still loves me, she wants me back, she cant lie to herself anylonger. I told I'm sorry, but there is no way I can take you back. She starts screaming and crying, sits in the car blaring love songs just crying her eyes out, crying and hollaring for me to come back, I just walk away.
So me and my new friend go back to my house thinking the wife would leave us alone now. Before we even get out of the car the wife pulls up and blocks us in the driveway. My new friend who lives and hour and half away wants to me go to her house with her. I tell her look, it seems as if my wife is not going to leave us alone, if we leave there is probably a good chance she will just follow us all the way anyways, so she goes on ahead and goes home. I go inside with the wife and she starts crying and begging for me to take her back. She then admits to everything she has done, tells me she never meant for it to go this far, told me all times she would blow me off, tells me all the times I would call her and cry my eyes out to her and she would act like she didnt care was all just a show. Told me everytime she would get off the phone that she would cry and cry for hurting me so bad. The she admits why things had happened the way they did. Turned out she was infact having an affair with the guy from work who I suspected, but she denied over and over again. She started "having sex" with this guy like 2 weeks after she had left me, and had been seeing him off and on ever since, but says they were really only a couple for maybe 6 weeks. She said he would cry to her about his ex and she would cry to him about me and then they would screw. She says he was just a friend that things went too far with. She has agreed to go to counseling for her issues and that she wants more than anything to be happy with me for the rest of her life.
After everything that had just happened, I realized that I was not completely over her, I still loved her, and I still wanted to try and save our family. So I agreed to take her back. She is going to call her OM and tell him that she cannot see him or talk to him ever again, and I just got done telling my new friend that I took my wife back and I cannot talk to her any longer. My wife and I made love yesterday, she put her wedding rings back on, and told me this morning that she couldnt hardly stand to get out of bed to go to work because she couldnt stand to be away from me anymore. She has called on her break and her lunch telling me how much she loves me and keeps telling me she is so sorry for everything she has done.
I guess I thought I was conmpletely done with this site, I thought I was completely done with my marriage, but things seem to have a funny way of working themselves out.
Great Idea Pony!!! Again, we need a gay friend. A good looking gay friend. I feel sorry that things went so far you, Mark. It sounds like you are ready for the Piecing Area. Get your wife to read DR with you! If the both of you are DBing, you will see these past few months as a real awakening for your marriage in the long run.
Last edited by mkultra; 07/05/0705:23 PM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I feel sorry for the poor woman that you were foolish enough to put in the middle.
Good luck.
So do I, she was a very special woman. I know if things don't work out with my wife I will regret doing what I did, but I also knew if I didnt take another chance with my wife I would live the rest of my life with regrets. Never ever did I start seeing this girl to hurt or even try to get my wife back, like I said before I had totally given up on my wife and our marriage, I was really truely just trying to go on with my life.
I read somewhere that men are empowered if other men check out at their Ws but women are made insecure if other women leer at their Hs. Why is that? Do men need trophies and women need fidelity? Is that a terrible generalization? Correct me if I am wrong, but I think it extremely wrong if anyone even thinks about flirting with a married man.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Last night was a great night. Went out to eat as a family once again, played at the park with the kids, and the whole time the wife and I couldnt keep our hands off each other One thing I am finding kind of bothersome is just how good of a liar my wife had become. I was really convinced there was no one else, she made up elaborate stories full of the tiniest details. Everything I have asked her about she has answered, even some stuff that has been really hard for me to hear, I've even had to stop her a few times saying I need smaller doses of info, but tell her how much I appreciate her being open with me now. She just keeps apologizing over and over again. She never ever apologized to me in the past for anything ever. I think she just really might have her head screwed on straight now.
Last night she called her OM in front of me and let me hear the conversation, sounded as if he had been detaching himself from her because he had been suspecting for a while now that she would come back to me. She told him she cannot see him or cannot talk to him ever again. He wished her luck and told her he really hopes that we can make our marriage work. Of course there's that part of me that still wants to smash his brains in with a tire iron, but then I realize after all the things my wife has been telling me that other than messing with a married woman he really isnt that bad of a guy. Their relationship sounded pretty screwed up, but I guess any affair is screwed up.
One thing I forgot to mention that I thought was pretty awesome Right after she hung up the phone after telling her OM that it was all over, she grabbed me and started making out with me
She has never been so loving to me. She admitted to me last night she is still afraid that my changes wont last, but now instead of doubting they will last, she thinks they will last.
Oh yeah, if any of you remember my last thread where I talked about how we filed for divorce, came back home, then had sex for the first time since she left me. Well turns out it was infact more than just sex to her, she hid it pretty well, but she admitted that after that she knew all to well that the feelings for me she was denying herself from were still there and still very strong. The whole girlfriend thing just speeded up the process.
Homer MacDonald says to get a girlfriend. In his book, he pretty much says it every other sentence. I guess it worked out really well for you. Congrats.
