Thanks for your good thoughts. AMD - that book sounds good. I loved those "choose your own adventure" books as a kid. I will check it out.
I had an amazing time on my vacation!!
It started off not too great w/ H's best friend taking the same flight as us w/ his son, new gf (he left his W just after H left me) and her d. Ugh! I was charming, but not pleased.
Disney itself was really magical, as it should be. I really relaxed and enjoyed myself, as did the children. I had a better time than I would have had w/ H, I think. I feel like I've found my spontaneous, fun side again. H was/is so cynical and always trying to prove how smart he is by being "above" actually enjoying little things. This isn't much fun to be around, and I felt very uninhibited.
There were mostly two-parent families there, but that didn't bother me, as I had thought it might. Rather, I thought about what fun they were having and how it would not have been the same if H had been there. Also, the kids and I have spent so much time as just the three of us over the years, that it actually felt normal.
I also saw quite a number of young couples, travelling alone and getting their photos taken with Mickey and friends. Again, I didn't feel sad or jealous; I wished them well (in my head!) and just smiled to see them having such a good time together. I know that I will have that in the future. And it will probably be better than my M ever was.
I had a bit of a setback when I returned, as there was a problem w/ our flight and my wallet got stolen; my bag was also badly damaged. Thus, we came home exhausted, and I was pretty stressed - did NOT want to see or talk to H. He did come to see the kids the next day (Tues) and took them out for a picnic w/ his gf. Ticked me off b/c he never did that with me, but I'm not dwelling on it. Then, last night, they all (H, kids, gf, her kid) went to my IL's to celebrate SIL's birthday.
I don't want to go on about this b/c I just want to put it out of my mind. One funny thing is that my MIL called to see if we were back b/c H hadn't called her. She said, "It's your ex- MIL calling! ha ha ha" I think she was nervous and didn't know what to say. Anyway, I said, "Actually, you're still my MIL b/c WE'RE STILL MARRIED!" I didn't yell, but said it with emphasis. She said, "Oh, ha ha ha, oh that's wonderful, ha ha ha, I'm still your MIL." I got off the phone ASAP b/c I'm still so mad at them for (a) not stepping up when H left; (b) bringing H up the way they did; and (c)treating the gf as part of the family when we're not even D'd. I find that very disrespectful of my M.
Anyway, this anger is an area I need to work on.
Other than that, H is acting all nervous and uncertain around me. Probably b/c I've got my groove back and am not putting up with any BS, nor am I interested in a R with him, other than as co-parents.
My dog is still sick and needs meds 5 times a day at specific times, so it's a job in itself to take care of her!
I will post some Disney pics on myspace.
Love to you all, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
