OF and Running this is such a weird sitch because H talks about our future all of the time but getting from our present to our future feels light years away. All I keep thinking is that I am going to have to spend the holidays separated, AGAIN...that sucks and if H sees an "us" then why is it so difficult to get from here to there? We both know that the other is terrified but we also both know the other wants our M to work. My big hurdle right now is to lay off of the pressure but July seems to be slipping away so quickly.
My GBT book has been MIA for a month or so now . I have been looking everywhere for it and cannot find it! It was what got me pretty much through the first few months of 2007. Where DB/DR are down on separation, that book gave me great hope and let me feel ok about being separated. It will be difficult to be living together again but I see it being that way no matter if we do it in August, September, October, etc...
There is great progress in my sitch and then nada, that is so tough sometimes and I understand that is just a fact of life but the hurt can be so overwhelming. We were supposed to chat after fireworks last night but H was tired and just wanted to head home so I did not even mention it. We had taken separate cars to the BBQ so the evening ended with a quick goodbye. It was the first time I have had a raging, screaming, crying fit all the way back to where I stay since this all began. We chatted for about an hour when I called to let him know I got back ok (he asked me to do that) but it was just talk about the Army and regular things.
There is no OW that I know of but I have kept my mind open to that possiblity. H has been dead set that there was/is not one. There had been some clues that there may be a little too much contact with a couple females at weird hours just before we separated but H said they were just friends and there has been nothing since but I keep my guard up just in case. Right now H's PTSD, anger, and desire to go back into the military are on his list of important issues...our M seems to fall very low on that list but I think it has now at least made the list.
. I have been looking everywhere for it and cannot find it! It was what got me pretty much through the first few months of 2007. Where DB/DR are down on separation, that book gave me great hope and let me feel ok about being separated. It will be difficult to be living together again but I see it being that way no matter if we do it in August, September, October, etc... 
