New to this.....feeling down

[~Sol]

789....very funny pictures. Thanks for sharing those! You have a nice looking family and great kids....now - what is wrong with your wife? Man, I don't see how one spouse can "lose it" like that and want to separate because they are "unhappy".....

OneWish.....I know what you mean. Yeah, my wife suffers from depression and low self-esteem. I will always see her for the rest of my life because we have a child together.

I could have said something nice about her place but I would only be sarcastic if I complimented her on it. I know I should have been "nicer", but even she doesn't like it and is trying to make it better by fixing the place up. She only got that particular one because it has 2 rooms that she wanted to use for the kids. That place is so poorly insulated that it gets hot when the sun hits it and gets cool in the shade. She probably needs to spend another 5 grand to make it livable....are there building codes for trailers? I think there are, but I'm sure they are not as strict or numerous as actual homes.

I have an 8 year old little girl, and today she asked my daughter why mommy has to live in a different place and not stay home. My W's response to her was that "we have too many problems", I didn't say anything at that comment and simply left for work. My duaghter, who's only 8, already thinks that it's not a good idea for her mom to be living someplace else. What else can I tell my little girl but that both parents love her?

Quick recap to my sitch: Summer of 2006 wife was unhappy and we argued intensely. August 2006 she starts an affair with a co-worker that was interested in my W and listened to her. During this time she wants a D. 3 months later I discover the affair and confront her. We reconcile for a month but doesn't last - she's still "in love" with this loser that can't even support himself. (I'm disgusted at this part).

Then, wife has this BRILLIANT plan to use OM to marry SIL so she can become legal (she's in Mexico.) She took a trip with OM to Mexico so he could meet SIL and arrange their fake R. I told W it was wrong for her to do this, but I was trying to DB at the time and I was thinking about the consequences for my whole family if I reported her back then. 2 things threw me into a rage about this whole sham.....first - the approval letter (Petition for a Fiance) came to MY HOUSE from Immigration, so it was going to happen, that pissed me off. second, when SIL would arrive and they would have their sham marriage, OM would become my BIL??? And he would stay in the picture for a long time while I knew an affair happened with my W and him?? - That just makes me sick. So I went to 3 D lawyers, got the same thing about this, that I should run away from my W and leave her if she was going to do something "Highly Illegal" - according to the attorneys. So then I went to an Immigration Atty, who called my wife and told her she could be thrown in a federal prison for doing this. W thought I was bluffing and got a friend to do this, but she called the atty's number and found it was REAL. So W freaks out! And now she claims to have stopped the whole thing. Then my anger grows and I continue to try MC and she goes for the first time. It surprise me, but I am not convinced she is really done with SIL and her sham "plans".....so she moves out to get away from ME but also to do what she wants to do behind my back...


So see? I can't really trust her right now. I still don't agree in her "helping" her sister this way, and I am not going to jeopardize myself or my kids in this highly illegal scheme. My W became a U.S. citizen just last year, and I told her the govt can strip her citizenship away......she doesn't believe me, but if she gets caught, it's all on her.

Then there is the M problems we have. So I can't really work on the M when I had this sham hanging over my head. This is such a mess with our "M problems", "affair", and "sham marriage".....now involving OM (she calls "just a good friend")....see my frustrations? With her moved out, (partially - she still has a few of her things at the house), she is actually helping me in the D process. We need 6 months apart without any custody battles to make a D happen (daughter was born before we got married, so 6 months vs 1 year in VA). I am willing to wait 6 months being separated and see where we are then. I can file any day after that and be D 2 weeks later. If she doesn't want me, fine. If she wants OM, that's her own choice, right? They can both be happy in a junk of a trailer for all I care. But right now my W is soooo confused that I almost feel sorry for her. She is, after all, the mother of my child.

At this point I feel that my M is over. W continues to run away, and she proved she doesn't want to be with me with her moving out. She has a 1 year lease on that piece of junk (space rental), but a friend of ours told me she now regrets what she is doing, but she's doing it anyway. I feel betrayed all over again, but I am in a better place as time goes by...