He's still with her, and I'm moving on...

[Hope_11]

Lin,

We have been together for 11 years and married for 5 years. We have been separated for almost 7 months and his affair has been going on for 8 months. He has been living with OW for 6 months. It's time for me to see an attorney and see what my options are. I'm guessing that me filing is my best option at this point. I never wanted to do that because he is the one that wanted out of the marriage. However, he is so controlling, it would be nice to feel like I am in control of something, so he can't hold my every action over my head. My H (like many others on here) has gone crazy. I know my story isn't the craziest one on here, but it definately ranks towards the top of the ones that I have seen. I don't know this guy anymore. He is definately not the man that I married. With him leaving me for someone else, my confidence has taken a huge hit. I need to get out there and build myself back up.
I think that a couple things make my sitch harder to swallow than some others:
1. Affair happened fairly early in our marriage.
2. We've been separated for 8 months and he has been living with OW for 6.
3. I am a very attractive, sweet, successful 27 year old (a lot of men would be happy to date me) -- the comment everyone made about my H when they found out he was leaving me was "What the hell is wrong with him?"
4. This hasn't been stewing for years. Other than the infertility problems that we faced, we were happy. I believe that my H looked to this OW to take his mind off of what we were dealing with. It was a one-night stand gone terrible wrong.
5. My H doesn't even pretend to be happy. He looks miserable.
6. OW is someone that rubs everyone the wrong way. She is the kind of person that no one likes. It's not even worth the typing to compare us, I have a lot more to offer someone than her.
7. He has done so many crazy, irrational things. He bought a house with OW after knowing her for 1.5 months. He up and left his entire life in 2 months time. He quit his job that he worked at for 5 years, left his entire family that he used to deal with on a daily basis, left me, left his farm/house that he has spent the last 7 years building with his own two hands, the list just goes on and on. I read an article one time that said the more sane the LBS is the more insane the WAS might act. I do believe that is the case for us.

Unless there is a miracle, our marriage is too far gone. I'm sure that you felt this same way because it looks like you were separated for quite awhile before you got back together. Any more insight you can offer?