Well I would go back to that a 3 year old should not make these decisions. If you two are apart, you two adults need to make what ever schedule you make. irregardless of daughter saying "I want mommy" or "I want daddy". She should be able to call when she wants but not go back and forth on a whim and your wife should not be encouraging this. She seems to be using her as a tool to fight you with, that is plain wrong.
Other than that, I hope you two had a wonderful time watching the firework show.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Well I would go back to that a 3 year old should not make these decisions. If you two are apart, you two adults need to make what ever schedule you make. irregardless of daughter saying "I want mommy" or "I want daddy". She should be able to call when she wants but not go back and forth on a whim and your wife should not be encouraging this. She seems to be using her as a tool to fight you with, that is plain wrong.
That is the problem. D3 initially said she didn't want to spend the night when I picked her up because my W told her she was not going to. While watching fireworks, I asked her if she wanted to and she said, yeah. Then when we are heading home, she is tired, crabby and I told her that she is spending the night and she said she didn't want to. She fell asleep a minute later.
My W is very co-dependent on D3. Like I said, she always had her 24/7. There is nothing else for her to fight with. I am not arguing or begging for her to take me back. I would LOVE to be with her, but I know that pressure will push her away. She does use D3 a lot. I don't know how she is going to stop loving me, she sees me 5 times a week!
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Well I don't think you should of asked her, just told her. I know it makes it all difficult, but she is going to be going through this possibly for a long time. Need to protect the little ones best we can.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
If you really want to make your lives miserable, let a child make all your decisions for you. That child, cute as she is now, will grow up to be a tyrant. It won't be cute when she's 15 still expects to call the shots and get everything she wants.
Well I don't think you should of asked her, just told her. I know it makes it all difficult, but she is going to be going through this possibly for a long time. Need to protect the little ones best we can.
You are right. I am working more on making statements instead of asking her what we should do. I am taking control of my life. My plan when D3 is crying is to just hurry up and leave. It just makes it difficult on her to stay there and try to literally beg her if she doesn't want to go at that moment. My W needs to see what reality is and that this will affect D3.
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
My D5 did not cry when her father told her he was moving out. He did not tell her with me. She already knew from observation. She told me she wanted to cry but she did not want to make him more sad. I said before I wish she was honest. I feel like we are all walking around on eggshells acting fake and happy for Daddy's benefit. Like if our house seeems happy he will come back home. I wish he knew the hell we have been through, but I doubt it would matter. He has been trained to believe that kids are better off if their parents are divorced if they are unhappy.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I have a different POV on kids & visitation. I think that the parents should be as accomodating as they can without being ran over. The kids need both parents. She shouldn't put your D in the middle like that.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
