New to this.....feeling down

[~Sol]

Thank you whatis - I haven't forgotten what country I live in thanks to looking at the flag today!

I had a good chat with my parents - they know about my sitch all the way in California. No matter how I try to look at this thing, it feels wrong. It's when I find solace in the fact that I do have a life after marriage - that I feel better about where I am.

This picking up daughter and dropping her off is getting ridiculous. And W has her own set of new bills now....oh, I went to visit her place this morning....and I wasn't impressed at all, in fact, I was grossed out by the kind of run-down, rotting and worthless pile of junk she wasted 3 grand on.....I don't like my daughter being over there at all....that place needs to be demolished and replaced with a new trailer. The whole park over there is one of the oldest dumps you can think of. She's running away from me and a great home for what? To see if she has a future without me or with a loser? Man, I should just look the other way if this is going down like this!

But I didn't criticize her place at all....she obviously sees potential in that junk. Her "home away from home"??? I just hope she can get her life together if she is going to want to be single for my daughter's sake. Today's encounter with her "new place" put things in perspective for me. Now I understand why she likes to hang out at the house versus her pad.....it's much nicer where we are.

Still, being separated is a new life for me now. I feel like I am divorced yet still in her life due to my daughter.