All kidding aside you almost made me cry. Yes there are MEN like theo, MC myself and all of the others here that put their Familys first. Some of us don't just jump into bed with the first thing that wags it's tail. Even now with my W giving herself to someone esle hurts sooo bad, You would think I would just say screw it if she can so can I right? NOPE. I have been going out, I have been checking out the ladys, but when it gets right down to it I will not open another chapter in my book of life until I have finished this one.
I have notice you do have a "dislike" for men. If you had met me or theo you would see we are just like your "dads"
Husband
Last edited by husband; 07/04/0709:58 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I am glad that delia started this topic on what men can be like as I had only been thinking the same thing earlier today.
Wouldn't it be great if when we were younger we were able to communicate better with the opposite sex and stop all the confusion and stereotipical behaviour from evolving.
The guys on here like husband, theo and mc are just great and hopefully we are able to show them that us gals can be like that too.
Today was exactly a year since my H told me that he was having an affair. I thought it would be an awful day but instead it has been great talking to you guys and he took me out to see the new Die Hard film - not really my sort of thing but he was making an effort and thats what counts at the end of the day.
Hugs n stuff to you all
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
What a great way to celebrate bad anniversary! And you didn't even make him take you to a chick film!
And Husband-- I can tell you're a good guy, and I know it hurts. I really think you have a good chance of reconciliation, and THEN you'll have something to celebrate! You'll be glad you showed some moral fiber, because I honestly think that you're going to end up happier than my H. I'm not saying this because I think I'm necessarily the right person for my H, and that he'll end up missing me. He may be with the right person now, for all I know. But he seems so bent on self-destruction--with drugs, booze, whatever--that I can't help but think he's got a rough road ahead.
You are thinking about coming here? Let me know when I could show ya around. I live about 20 north of San Fran. In the wine country. Although I would rather have beer. I think real soon I am going to repost my sitch. I would love to have your input. I know I am about to get locked out again so this will be number 4.I think it is a time to recap. I think my sitch is a little different than most although there are a lot of similarity’s this is why I am having such a hard time. Next week is our 17th year anv. My W has not said anything about it but did make a reservation for that weekend in Yosemite. Of course our sin and my daughter will be with us but it is saying something isn't it? Ok I’ll wait until later and then write a recap.
For anybody interested my E-mail is in my profile
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
March 2006 my wife tells me she's considering leaving me, and not to happy with the marriage. She doesn't feel an emotional/spiritual connection with me. Three weeks later she tells me she's been having discussions with my best friend about their mutual attraction. She tells me he's not leaving his wife, but she wants to remain friends with him. I talk to him 3X about his, catch him in a few lies and realize they are having an emotional affair. I asked him to end all contact with my family for 6 months. He agrees, but goes on ahead calling my wife. It was an emotional affair. My wife refused to give up the friendship with him. I started DB, saw a therapist myself, surrounded my self with a group of men as an accountability team to make sure I don't to something stupid. I start GAL activities. There were some improvements. We were having fun, had regular date nights.
In March 2007, we were selling our apartment and buying a house. The seller backed out. My wife was deeply sad. We sat for lunch to talk about his, and in the conversation she revealed that she ended all contact with my ex-best friend. It has become a physical affair. They were lovers for 7 months. I was compassionate and sympathetic. She didn't apologize for the affair. Still doesn't think it's wrong. She told me she wanted to "be with him" but because he wouldn't leave his wife, she ended it. She wasn't re-commiting to our marriage. A numbness went over me.
After 3 weeks I told her I didn't want to buy at the moment, since our marriage was so shaky. I preferred to rent for a year and see what happens. I also asked her to get tested for STD. She blew a fuse. This "boundary" I drew got her mad. So...she said when we were going to sell our apartment, she wanted "space" to think and wanted us to rent seperate apartments. In essence, she was asking me to move out. I refused. I wasn't abandoning my kids so that my wife could figure out her MLC and grieve her affair. In addition, we can't afford 2 apartments at the moment.
So....we ended up renting our current house. Here we are. Something of a stalemate. She wants a trial separation, but I won't do it. Shes on a 2 week trip abroad. When we come back we need to regroup and re-address the marriage.
You men are awesome. I wish my children had strong role models like you all.
It's sad my D said she and several girlfriends had a discussion in her dorm room about the type of man they want to marry. One of them said girls always want to marry a man like her daddy. My D said I don't. Isn't that sad? I would have loved to have found a man like my dad.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Nothing aginst your H but at least your D knows what she does not want. My D's know something is not right. They know I am the one trying to save the marrage. They DON'T know want my W did. It is really hard doing this on my own.
Maybe we should make a mailing list of all the men and women that have posted on this site and use it as a dating service.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Husband, Sorry to hijack, but Theoden doesn't keep an active thread!
Theoden, Thanks for the update on your sitch! Not sure if you saw how mine is evolving, but when I laid out my plan and told her she was free to go with the kids to TX, she backed out and stayed here in FL in our house! We are similarly stalemated for the time being, but I am not really letting it get to me! Just GALing my butt off and trying to refocus on my career, kids, and Self.
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
I knew I would get your attention. I am NOT trying to pick up on anybody here, (Unless they want to be picked up). I AM KIDDING.
How is it going theo? you were worried about me GAL right? well all day today I had off and so did the W. Do you know what I was thinikng about all day??? FRIDAY NIGHT. I am going out agian.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
