Well, the W is suddenly hot to trot again. Although my thread title is intended to be tongue in cheek, there is an undercurrent there. I do have a fear that it will stop again suddenly as it did before. I am fighting hard to suppress those thoughts as much as possible and go with the flow. I need to realize that if my W does retreat, it is just one of those necessary patterns in a marriage. My goal is to (if it happens) retreat an equal amount and let her come back to me on her own terms. If all goes well, and she comes back after a short time, it will do wonders for my confidence that this is a cycle I can live with.
A bit of history ... the W and I have been talking off and on about scheduled sex and the reasons it may work well for us. She made the statement some time ago that she was scared about how to get from where we are now to where I want to be in our R and asked me to come up with a baby-steps plan that she could be comfortable with. Her willingness warmed my heart. We have had a hard time sticking to the once a week schedule, but the effort has been there. A positive side effect has been MUCH more affection from her. She will actually reach out to touch me when she passes me by, and has started doing things like wiggling her a$$ at me, almost inviting a smack. LOL
During a convo a few days ago, I mentioned that I would like there to be more sexual teasing during the day. I feel like it would get her more primed for evening activities. Well, she took it to heart, and started teasing me right away, which led to sex (and it wasn't the scheduled day :)). The flirting has continued to today, and she has been ready and willing every evening, despite being up to 2 AM every night working on a sewing project.
Last night was the night that prompted my thread title. I had been dozing watching TV waiting up for her to go to bed. Around 2 AM we crawl into bed and she has the wiggly thing going. I'm thinking in the back of my mind that she must be horny, but I'm SOOO tired. Anyway, she finally speaks up and says that she wants sex, and if I'm too tired I can just lay there. WHAT!!!! The next thing I know she is on top of me putting a condom on me (no more little ones thank you very much) and lubricating it with Astroglide, then mounting me. I'm still a bit speechless about the whole thing.
Anyway, my goals for the near future ...
(1) DON'T make a big deal about the change, just ride the ride. Talking about it kills the emotion ... right blackfoot!?
(2) DON'T let my worries about the future stop my enjoyment. If she retreats, let her, and continuing being a person that she feels safe to return to.
(3) SLOWLY SLOWLY introduce sexual experimentation. So far the sex has been standard variety, which could lead to a rut if we are not careful. But I don't want to scare her away by going to fast.
Hope everyone has a good 4th. I get a little put off by all the glitzy "patriotism" this time of year, but I do like to set off the fire-poppers.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
The next thing I know she is on top of me putting a condom on me (no more little ones thank you very much) and lubricating it with Astroglide, then mounting me. I'm still a bit speechless about the whole thing. Did you let her know how much you liked her making that move? And the next thing I would be doing is getting snipped. No more little ones, BTDT.
You have heard stories about men not liking condoms, well women don't like them either from the little I hear.
A couple of years ago, BB had a needle stick at work in the hospital. One of the safety procedures after a needle stick is using condoms, so yours truly, age 61 at the time, buys a 12? pack and a tube of KY jelly at Costco.
I do have a fear that it will stop again suddenly as it did before. Chrom, I know those feelings but just go with the flow for now. Enjoy the connection, fun, and excitement while the good times are rolling. Be a Pavlovian and reward behaviors you like.
Last night must have had something going for it. I decided it was time to get nekid and have some full body contact time, including sex. I used to think Astroglide was good but now use a silicone based lube. It does not dry out and BB’s equipment, being a bit damaged, needs the extra sliperyness.
Chrom Hope everyone has a good 4th. I get a little put off by all the glitzy "patriotism" this time of year, but I do like to set off the fire-poppers. Put off hum????? I know political is different than patriotism, but the way I see the 4th. Is, what this country has wasn't "FREE" as some people think or act. I put in my 2 years to help keep it free and safe.
I was drafted and lived on $28 a month to start and ended my Army service as an E4 keeping a little over a hundred dollars am month. I sent the rest home to help support my mother. I know the chopper pilots/gunners, ground troops, tank guys, and grunts risked and did more than I risked or did during the Vietnam era.
Right or wrong politics’ aside, the people that made and helped to keep our country free have my respect and if it takes parades, watermelon, hotdogs/burgers, corn on the cob and some potato salad, along with kids popping fire crackers and playing with sparklers and of course the big aerial fire works, I like the whole smear.
I have to say the party is still going on. I was laying on the bed enjoying the feel of the celing fan when she came in the room, said "we have 7 minutes until the cake is done" (for 4th party this afternoon), hopped on top of me, kissed me agressively for a few minutes, took her top off, yadda yadda, and had her O just in time to get back to the cake.
I can still smell her, iykwim. Go figure. I need to get this silly grin off my face though. Or maybe not.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Don't get me wrong Lou, I appreciate very much those that have made the country what it is. And I love the chance to party and have good feelings going around.
What I don't like is those that take this opportunity to bash those whom they don't think are patriotic enough or whom they don't feel are part of "God's country." Just watch Fox News for awhile and you'll know what I mean.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
What I don't like is those that take this opportunity to bash those whom they don't think are patriotic enough or whom they don't feel are part of "God's country." Just watch Fox News for awhile and you'll know what I mean.
FYI Fox news was on for 12+ hours a day post 9-11-2001. Less now but still too much for me. I refuse to watch Hannity and Colmes . BB won’t watch PBS.
And yes I know what you mean. I have trouble with the phrase "God's country" praying before the game and a whole bunch of other religious type activities. To me, when I hear "God's country" it is like a person saying “Look at how much better the left front fender is than the right front fender” because the new owner polished or washed that one part, if I were to have hand built a car for him. God’s Country???? Some places are hot, some places are cold. Some places are wet (Lil) and some places are dry.
BB gets off on Fox News. I watch PBS, the networks, CBC (which had news from Mexico, UK, China, Japan, and a few other countries), and I watched a news cast called Mosaic, which was news from the Muslim POV. Sometimes I wonder if we live on the same planet.
Do you want to hear a debate between BB and myself on the merits of who has a right to live in the lands called Palestine (past and present) and Israel?
Ethics=yes, religion=sometimes I wonder.
Lou
Chrome, now tell me the YEC are right and I will move to another planet. OK? Well maybe to Canada or Costa Rica. How about to an island where I can be the dictator? I loved the movie "Moon Over Parador" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095654/
she came in the room, said "we have 7 minutes until the cake is done" (for 4th party this afternoon), hopped on top of me, kissed me agressively for a few minutes, took her top off, yadda yadda, and had her O just in time to get back to the cake.
I can still smell her, iykwim. Go figure. I need to get this silly grin off my face though. Or maybe not.
WOW, Chrom. You are lucky.
I miss those "O's" BB and I used to share. I still like our shin to skin time and my "O's"
WHOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! Chrome, she sounds like she's finally figured it out. She sounds just like me when it happened to me and I wanted more than anything for my M to work out! If she's enjoying it too, which she obviously is, I cannot imagine that things will go way south again. It may taper off at times, but now that she's GOT IT, she knows what it's all about. It's not just the sex, she is realizing what she was missing w/ the intimacy, the closeness and the better R that comes w/ the sex! This is awesome and I can say that cuz I've BTDT. I'm so very happy for both of you!!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
It's not just the sex, she is realizing what she was missing w/ the intimacy, the closeness and the better R that comes w/ the sex! So true Cadesmom34. guys might talk about the sex because it is measurable to a degree. Intimacy and closeness are just as important, although not as concrete or measurable, and more difficult to include in a story that can be fold to a spouse or someone else.
By jove, I think she's got it.
Lou
Back from my watermelon, burger, potatosalad, and parade activities.
Well maybe to Canada or Costa Rica. How about to an island where I can be the dictator? I loved the movie "Moon Over Parador"