H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Well day 5 and not even a peep out of my wife. I guess me being out of site makes me also out of her mind. On the other hand maybe I will be lucky and she is thinking what it is like not to have me around and is starting to miss not seeing or hearing me, won't get my hopes up on that one. Is this normal, even separated we have talked every day even if it about nothing but our son, then complete silence. Heck she even gave me hug and used my nickname prior to leaving, I guess that is why I thought she would give me at least one phone call. I want to call her but trying to give her a lot of space and if I call now I know it will sound like I am checking up on her or am needed, which I am!!!
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Is this normal, even separated we have talked every day even if it about nothing but our son, then complete silence.
Hang in there. Yes, it is normal for you both. You both are humans. Just remember, that your W is not the only one experiencing these feelings. She is also having a tough time. You two have so much history, it is hard to start over. I went out last night with some females friends who were in long-term relationships and ALL they kept saying was that they hate dating. They ALL want stability. They want the right guy. You were doing things right to marry your wife. You have proven yourself that you are a good husband. Your W knows this. Just hang in there and let her see you being happy. Don't call her.
I see my W about 4-5 times a week exchanging D3 and I know that I am ALWAYS on her mind. She too, acts nervous. Like today, I am not sure if you saw my recent post, but I picked up D3 and my W and I spoke about D3's difficulties and I keep saying the common theme that D3 is going to be affected. This is reality. I think it is starting to sink into my W's head. We left and D3 and W were both crying. W calls me 20 minutes later 2 times to check up on D3. I didn't answer the phone call. I called back an hour later and told her how difficult it was for D3 and that she is doing great now. I did backslide trying to rationalize, W got upset. We then hung up. Guess who is thinking about me 30 minutes later. My W! She sends me a text complaining. I just ignored the text. I don't believe anything that she says. I am watching her actions. She is emotional and crying. This is hard on her and it is hard on your W too, I'd imagine. My W is so co-dependent on D3. I showed grace and poise to just let her negative text go! she is not going to ruin my day and time with D3. I have options and I am starting to feel in control of my life. I was invited to a 4th of July BBQ/Pool Party with some good friends and I had the option of spending time with D3. Of course I chose D3. It is all part of GAL, making yourself happy and then others will want you to be around them too.
You are on your W's mind several times a day.
Have a Great Day!
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Thanks, I am not going to call her, even though I want too. She would only take that as my insecurities or checking up on her. I just have to be careful and not mention her name, I have one of those stupid voice activated cell phones, been known to call her without even knowing it.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
It works! I slip up every now and then. I just need to shut up and leave quickly.
You have a nice family. That was nice of you to post a picture of your family. I see happiness in those photos. Keep fighting and be patient to restore that precious family.
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
I hope it is working. I have never gone this long without seeing her or talking to her. I know others have gone much longer, but I haven't. I still have at least 5 days minimum before I see her face and not sure if I will hear from her before that. It is eating me up big inside. I know they say it is good to let happen in these situations, but. I am rambling I know. Just in a sucky a** mood about it.
Thanks for the comment on the family. That is all I want, my family.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
