Mike, FIB, the M retreat is a longshot. She wants nothing to do with staying M to me. I actually over heard her talking to our neighbor last night she told her that 8 weeks ago she might have tried MC now it is to late for that and we just need to make this as easy on the girls as possible... That was all I heard, but they talked for a while and when my W left for work our friend said to me that it seems my W is trying to convince herself that what she is doing is alright. I agree, I have seen this for sometime now.
Today, we got up and went to the movies as a family, atleast we looked like a family. Now my W is at work, d5 is next door playing, and D2 is taking her napp. I might go to my Aunts house tonight, but I really am debating on just hanging out at our house. We had along day yesterday so a low key day is probabably needed.
I need a break....My W before she left for work gave me her parenting plan and her proposed distribution of our houshold furnishings. She knows that mine is not done yet but thought that this might help me with ideas. Either way it sucks, she is not helping me she is freakin killing me. I also saw what her L is going to propose for CS from me. The way they have it worked out I would be paying over $1000 a month. I would definately have to sell my house if this is the case. This country is so freakin screwed up.... not only are you able to be an infidel but the goverment gives you a pat on the back for it. "Good job destroying your family...here let us help you take your kids away from their dad ....how much do you need to get by on?"
I really need a break, I see my W on a daily basis and at times have somewhat normal interactions with her. Then it goes rightback to the D. I really am thinking about moving out myself until this is done, just to get myself away from the emotional swing. I am abusing myself living with her like this. I know it is all about my girls. I am just worn out. I for the most part have come to grips that my M is done...now trying to sort through this mess is just as bad as dealing with the A. Maybe I am just having a bad day...I am tired. I am tired of not having my W to talk to.....really talk to... I am tired of sleeping alone on the couch... I am tired of always having to be on guard... I am tired of having to answer my D's questions....I am tired of being blamed for this sitch..... I am tired of being dragged through the mud so my W can justify this D. Just be honest and say Scott you where a good H, you just did not meet my needs like DOC does I need to move on.. Hell that is easier to hear then being told that I am abusive and neglectful. If it where true I could deal with it, but when it is a gross exageration of the truth I cannot stomach it anylonger. My W is the queen at finding something negative about me from everyday events. I believe these are normal WAW actions, I am just worn down by them.....
