You know the more I think about your post, and all of our situations, I think it is important to set these goals and follow them.
Your most important emotion is having her back, you want this more than anything. I'm in the same sitch, but now is not the time to hold her feet to the fire, even when it is it will only be effective if she is willing to face it.
I know you want nothing more when she calls to give her a piece of your mind, but that moves you towards a short term goal, standing up for yourself, but further from the long range goal of her being back.
Eventually when she comes back all of that will have to be addressed for now though, you just keep the smile and good times rolling.
