Hey inpain,
Not a lot of time but real quick. To quote the comedian Kat Williams, "self-esteem is something you give yourself"

You might have held his feet to the fire for his bad actions. Maybe you shouldn't have, only because it's hard on YOU to carry that weight.

His, and my W's, self-esteem issues are theirs alone. I can try to bolster it, as can you, but when we aren't around, who's to blame if it falters.

It's time for your H to cowboy up.

Big hugs inpain. You are a child of God, made in his image and he loves you radically and without reservation.