Well, the W is suddenly hot to trot again. Although my thread title is intended to be tongue in cheek, there is an undercurrent there. I do have a fear that it will stop again suddenly as it did before. I am fighting hard to suppress those thoughts as much as possible and go with the flow. I need to realize that if my W does retreat, it is just one of those necessary patterns in a marriage. My goal is to (if it happens) retreat an equal amount and let her come back to me on her own terms. If all goes well, and she comes back after a short time, it will do wonders for my confidence that this is a cycle I can live with.
A bit of history ... the W and I have been talking off and on about scheduled sex and the reasons it may work well for us. She made the statement some time ago that she was scared about how to get from where we are now to where I want to be in our R and asked me to come up with a baby-steps plan that she could be comfortable with. Her willingness warmed my heart. We have had a hard time sticking to the once a week schedule, but the effort has been there. A positive side effect has been MUCH more affection from her. She will actually reach out to touch me when she passes me by, and has started doing things like wiggling her a$$ at me, almost inviting a smack. LOL
During a convo a few days ago, I mentioned that I would like there to be more sexual teasing during the day. I feel like it would get her more primed for evening activities. Well, she took it to heart, and started teasing me right away, which led to sex (and it wasn't the scheduled day :)). The flirting has continued to today, and she has been ready and willing every evening, despite being up to 2 AM every night working on a sewing project.
Last night was the night that prompted my thread title. I had been dozing watching TV waiting up for her to go to bed. Around 2 AM we crawl into bed and she has the wiggly thing going. I'm thinking in the back of my mind that she must be horny, but I'm SOOO tired. Anyway, she finally speaks up and says that she wants sex, and if I'm too tired I can just lay there. WHAT!!!! The next thing I know she is on top of me putting a condom on me (no more little ones thank you very much) and lubricating it with Astroglide, then mounting me. I'm still a bit speechless about the whole thing.
Anyway, my goals for the near future ...
(1) DON'T make a big deal about the change, just ride the ride. Talking about it kills the emotion ... right blackfoot!?
(2) DON'T let my worries about the future stop my enjoyment. If she retreats, let her, and continuing being a person that she feels safe to return to.
(3) SLOWLY SLOWLY introduce sexual experimentation. So far the sex has been standard variety, which could lead to a rut if we are not careful. But I don't want to scare her away by going to fast.
Hope everyone has a good 4th. I get a little put off by all the glitzy "patriotism" this time of year, but I do like to set off the fire-poppers.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
