mopo is right one the money (as usual) -- I won't repeat anything because I think he said it all! Oh, I guess I would say that the ring flaunting is her trying to get a read on you. Just keep ignoring it, and like mopo said -- make a timeline goal of her putting it back on (this way you can put it out of your mind better).
Quote:
She can not stop about the R/M and the issues. I try and be supportive and have read most of DR. But I'm still lost on what to do when it comes up. I just node my head, I don't dismiss, I don't say sorry anymore, just listen. But I don't think it is helping to listen, I think she is trying to justify her actions.
I'm sure she is, and you are doing what SHE NEEDS YOU TO DO -- listen and validate. You need to be there for her, and you should feel good that she is looking to you to spill her feelings and hope for support. She may be continuing discussing it because she is trying to figure out where you stand. DON'T WALK AWAY -- this will show her that you aren't interested in listening to her anymore, and OUR W's NEED US TO BE THERE AND LISTEN TO THEM AT TIMES LIKE THESE. Yes it hurts, sucks, etc, but you need to bite your tongue and ride out the storms. When she shuts down completely and withdraws from you, that you should REALLY be worrying about where things are headed. I'm not saying that what she is talking about is good -- I'm saying that her talking to YOU about it is good.
Do read about the castle/picnic analogy -- it really does your on/off days perfectly!
And also, in regard to the parade/fireworks, W could've simply said, "Why don't you or I just keep S for both events." Now does her suggestion sound more positive?
