Wife had an affair with OW

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In reading your posts I think it comes down to really only comes down to a couple of question.
Do you want your wife?
Do you want to save your marriage?
If so, think about what you are saying, hopefully you are not telling her these things. You say she is not hurt by all this, can you say that for sure, it could be eating her up and you don't even know it. I also don't think you want to test her to see what would happen if you left, she might not fight to get you back because of what she has done and thinks she completely killed the M. I can see why you are upset, and it hurts, you do need to think of it as an A, not a lesbian thing, that will eat you up even more. She told you she wants you, she says she wants to work on it. Take that part and run with it. You will not forget, but you will need to forgive at some point.