I want to be angry. I want to be hurt. I want to give up.
Unfortunately, writing it all out (as I did above) just gives me more reason to hope. Think about it: The photo contest info (she said she saw a flyer for it at starbucks, must have been thinking about me or she wouldn't have sent it), the offer to give me a better financial settlement than originally offered (kindness/compasion towrds my well being), the gratitude and appreciation of the photos I sent. These are all little tiny hints of progress.
Of course she hasn't read any books about this. That's my thing, not hers. I can't even guess what she has or hasn't been thinking or doing, because the information is just not available to me. To be realistic, I figure I would not approve or agree with what she has been up to, but tough. That's life.
It would be so much easier if I could just give up, but, as I always say: "If it was easy, they wouldn't need me to do it."
Gonna go get some grub. Here's one to try on your freinds, and it can take weeks to get it (it's all in the pronunciation):
A toothless termite walks into a tarvern and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
