So, W is regretting the "not-forever" part (still thinking about that is HUGE, I think), still blaming you for taking her for granted (Has she ever taken any responsibility for the failure of the M herself?), hurting & not happy --
She has said on a couple of occassions thats she has ruined the M . I have tried to get her to councelling many times over the last few years. I could see our problems and said to W we need someone to help us work out how to improve things. W always refused , thinking back she would always use the line " I am happy with how things are " and " you are the one with the problem not me ". But back then I was trying to get her to change , didnt realise that I had to change me.
(((L)))
Quote:
"we had a big long hug and both cryed but its over", is that what YOU think and want? If so, then okay. But your W still just seems so unsure, so all over the place about this...is it possible that "Friday" may not even arrive at the end of this week?
I am going to honest with you and I dont think its over, I am still open to trying however will never want to go back to our old M. With OM in the picture I dont see us making a lot of progress. One thing I struggle with is the amount of pain and hurt she is going through to do this , she tells me its something she has to do , has not laid any real blame on me. I was thinking wow this is a lot to go through to get rid of me but I dont think thats it. I think the major driver is guilt and possibly continuing with an A while living under the same roof is too much for her.
(((sunny)))
The big thing missing in everything W says is talking about anything permanent, She doesnt want to involve Lawyer, has never even said the D word , Is not interested in going to the IRD who administer child support. So she is carefully avoiding anything "official " and permanent. She even told me that there is no fixed contract on this appartment. Has no interest in discussing the future of the family home.
I still get the feeling she is doing this while trying to keep the door wide open to return. We have lived together since she she was 18, (lived together for a few years prior to getting married). Going out on her own is a big step , she even said last nite she was very scared.
SD
Yes I have followed your sitch and will believe this move when I see it. Its poorly thought out and I am sure she wont enjoy her new abode for too long.
