It's been a long time since my last post and overall things have been going really well.
The problem that i've got is PARANOIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My H has to go away with work alot, sometimes it's just overnight and other times it will be for a week at a time. He never used to do this before the separation, well, only very occasionally. Now he is away at some point every week. I really want to totally trust him but i cant help thinking that maybe the OW is with him. I don't know where she works and i keep thinking that maybe she works at the same place and is going away with him aswell. Or, (and this is totally crazy) i keep thinking that maybe he is having an affair with another man!!!! He keeps talking about this bloke at work, who is really intelligent, really interesting, really facsinating and, unfortunately is usually with him when he goes away. Am i being completely ridiculous to think these things? I have jokingly mentioned this to H and he didn't really respond. I left it a while and then joked about it again, and i said "well, you haven't actually denied it" and he replied "i don't think i need to do I"?
He tells me now that he loves me, which is absolutely wonderful to hear, but because he told me (many times) that he didn't love me i am finding it very hard to believe. When he tells me he loves me i usually reply with "do you really". I think he finds it annoying that i question him each time, but i need so much reassurance at the moment, but i'm scared that i will push him away again if i carry on like this.
Does anyone have any advice on restoring trust. Or do you know of any books which may help. I am also trying to find books on positive thinking and boosting self esteem so if any of you have read any good ones i would love to hear from you.
