Midlife - to do or not to?

[yawmom]

In the Midlife Crisis the man needs to be reassured that he's loved -- but he had an affair-- soooo - my question is, since he's going through that do I remind him he's loved? OR since he had the affair, the other info tells me to pull back, not to do that.
I could deal with the midlife and depression, the affair is of course much harder to deal with.
He's a truck driver so he's not home, and only calls once in a while. I can tell he's depresses, guilty and hurting...me too.