'm not at all sure about this, and the general rule is when in doubt, don't act, but I hate to see the D go through if there is a way to avoid it.
I guess the real problem here is that I don't see a way to avoid it. Prolong it -- maybe. But avoid it, pretty sure that I can't. I feel like the best thing to do now is to see about doing what I can to prolong it (haven't talk to L yet, but will), and just do what I said I'm going to do and have been doing. I think that this will be more powerful and that as the D gets closer, W will maybe question the D more and more. I said a while back that I honestly believe that, for my W, a D needs to actually take place for her to have closure on our failed M, and for the potential for a new R/M to emerge/develop. I think she would need a sitch where there is no pressure, meaning dating but without committment or the stress of working/not working on a M, and see if she could fall in love with me again.
Early in the sep (pre-D filing, I think), W told MIL that "I probably could've lasted another couple of years, but that's it." I guess that tells me that there is some hope SOMEWHERE down the road, D or not. Also, when we first talked about the D, she said that we "might get back together 4-5 years down the road, who knows?" That I felt, was another good sign that she will always be "sneaking peeks" or that she is open to the possibility that she could be in love with me again.
She had said early on that she needs to find herself -- figure out who she is, and didn't feel like she had ever established that for herself. I think that she is sort of having that MLC in her mid twenties, simply because she lost a lot of independent experiences that many people around her were afforded.
When discussing the D, she also said that she needs a "clean slate" where the past doesn't come back to haunt her (which I think means the past where she cheated on me pre-M and the fact that I always used it against her in bad fights). If it is to ever work out between us, I believe she will first really need me to show her that I hold nothing against her (now or ever again) for both that mistake pre-M and the R she currently has with OM.
