welcome to my nightmare #3

[Dr LOve]

Next and THeo

I am not going to ask the W about the tattoo (don't tell MC i was going to be a wimp ok?)


My bother in arms -- gallant hunter of your wife's heart.

You are doing fine. Good work. Thanks Theo I needed this.

It's seems right now you are very fragile. You are teetering between detatching and chasing her.

Yes I know this, I am doing better though. I can’t wait for Friday I’m going out again. This may sound silly but I right now I am cooking some deer sausages my step dad made last year before he pasted away. My W always made me go out side to cook it because she didn’t like the smell. Well I am in the house…Doing what I want to do.


She's not going anywhere. Your chasing will push her out the door.

I know she is not going anywhere right now.

The key in the LRT and detaching is not to try and trick her. They key is to get yourself to a point in your life where you don't really need her and you stop living in fear.

I actually have gotten to a point that I don’t NEED her. Today I was thinking that I am not rocking the boat mostly because of my son. I am trying to keep him sheltered from this. UN fortunately in protecting him I am putting my own pride and respect aside.


1. What do I want?

To live to a ripe old age, be happy, (I don’t need a lot of money to be happy). Find someone that I can tell my innermost secrets to and who will tell me theirs.

2. What is the purpose of my life?

Right now is to raise my Son in a healthy, learning environment, and be an example to him of how a moral man should live. Respecting others. Daughters are old enough to be on their own.

3. Am I just getting by in my career or am I thriving and making a difference?


I love my job. I feel bad that I am letting this affect it. But then again when I worked long hour’s maybe that is what got me here.

4. Do I have loyal male friends in my life who will challenge me and help me to live with passion?
Except you and MC

This is a big NO. I had male friends but My W didn’t like them. She made it known she did not want me to hang around them. (I did call one up the other night and we went out. I may give him a call again this Friday)

5. What spiritual disciplines am I pursuing?

I am not a religious man. I think Man screwed up religion and changed it to his own perspective. I believe in God, I pray to him not as much as I should.

6. What am I doing to bring me joy?


I am doing more every day. Little by little I am doing things without worrying about what the W will say.



7. What hobbies will really stretch me and really gratify me?

Leaving the house….I stay home too much. I have been going fishing a lot with my son. This is some thing we didn’t do often.

I'm asking myself these questions now. Join me in becoming more of man who lived with passion.

My thoughts:

1. Don't send the letter. It's dripping with, "please, please, please come back to me."


I am not going to send the letter. Not YET. I am going to start to write a letter that will signal the end of the struggle I am having. I will edit it, re write it, add to it and delete stuff. But some day she will get it.

2. Get her a small anniversary gift because it's who YOU are: a thoughtful gentleman. Skip the card. Have her look into your clear, purposeful eyes -- that's the card she needs to learn to read.

No Flowers, Just the watch. I don’t think I will get her a card.

3. Don't take this the wrong way: real men don't ask their wives for advice on what kind of tattoo to get. Blab
I know this is left over habit I need to break. I always tried to include her in my decisions. I am just going to get it.( agian don't tell MC I don't want him to think I am a california wimpy hippie)

Now I am leaning to the work EUREKA with some desighn and Maybe A & M under it. That Is my special place I go with my son. And our initials.


The reason my wife strayed is because I lost myself. I was a depressed, emotionally shut down, indecisive man who was floundering in his career. I was a sweet, warm, nice guy. I'm very funny and really smart. But my wife already has several girlfriends; she doesn't need me to be one.

Aside from being depressed it sounds like you are describing me.


Theo just a thought. I love lonely, Delia, suffice, yoyo and all of the rest of the ladies here. And PLEASE LADIES DO NOT GET ME WRONG. But I think that some of their advise is coming from the LBS is feelings. Not all of it but some of the things they tell me is what the would want their H to do for them. They are not thinking with the mind of someone who is sooo unhappy with their marriage that they went outside to find happiness.
Do you understand what I am trying to say? It like the glass half full or empty thing. I along with everyone here is the half full glass. We think we have some water so it’s ok. Our S is the half empty glass. They figure the glass is half empty so the better go look for more.

I hope I don’t offend any of the ladies. I care for you all and i DO respect your opinions. They are your feeling they are not right or wrong.

I got to go eat my sausages.

Is anybody still talking to me?


Husband