Gone Dancin's Dilemma, 2

[Nomopo]

GD - did you talk to your lawyer again yet?

I guess I'm concerned that what I have to lose is the slight progress in that I haven't been pursuing. I'm afraid that this will look like I'm pursuing again and am not GALing and moving on like she has seen in the last 1-2 months. I feel it will be a backslide in that she will lose the comfort in our meetings and talks that has begun to be established, and that she will reject this D discussion anyway. It will also be R talk initiated by me, which can't be good.

If it is a backslide (and it probably is), I feel like any damage (eg, lost comfort or lost slight progress) will be temporary, not permanent.

If this is this case, won't my pushing this issue cause her to quit sneaking peeks again?

Again, I would suspect it would be temporary, not permanent, especially in light of the longer, post-D timeline you seem ready to accept.

I've already had my atty send her atty the request to allow me to unfile, and W's atty sent back papers with my W's denial of this request. She wants to move forward, and I think pushing the issue anymore may simply be counterproductive and nothing more. She obviously knows I wish I hadn't filed, so I guess why push the issue?

I know I had chimed in an earlier to do that through the lawyers, but now I think it might have been better to make it more personal. When I said that before, I guess I didn't fully comprehend your timeline (menaing 8/16).

Since then I have DBed like mad, and am at the very least happy with the changes I've made in my attitude toward her choices, as well as my new ability to give her my unconditional love (which is at times difficult, I must admit).

Taking this proposed course would not change the changes in your attitude or your view on UCL.

I think I may just make an appointment with my DB coach and see what she thinks. I've been trying to put this off, but it has been about 3-4 weeks so it might be time again.

Good idea. And talk to your L.

Maybe just go with more of the same and try that sideways attempt at meeting W's LL and monitor the results. [. . .] just keep doing what I'm doing, let her contact me unless I absolutely have to call her, and show her an upbeat, confident man who will be stronger, better, and wiser from all of this no matter what the outcome.

Again, even if you contact her about an unfiling, you can still do all of this. There maybe some damaghe, but IMO it will likely be temporary.

I'm not at all sure about this, and the general rule is when in doubt, don't act, but I hate to see the D go through if there is a way to avoid it.

FWIW,
Nomopo