It is a "What have you got to lose" way to go though.
I guess I'm concerned that what I have to lose is the slight progress in that I haven't been pursuing. I'm afraid that this will look like I'm pursuing again and am not GALing and moving on like she has seen in the last 1-2 months. I feel it will be a backslide in that she will lose the comfort in our meetings and talks that has begun to be established, and that she will reject this D discussion anyway. It will also be R talk initiated by me, which can't be good.
sunny -- you said that you see little things that tell you W is sneaking peeks over the castle wall. If this is this case, won't my pushing this issue cause her to quit sneaking peeks again?
I've already had my atty send her atty the request to allow me to unfile, and W's atty sent back papers with my W's denial of this request. She wants to move forward, and I think pushing the issue anymore may simply be counterproductive and nothing more. She obviously knows I wish I hadn't filed, so I guess why push the issue? I haven't acted like anything has changed since she denied the unfiling, and have avoided any discussion about it or our R. I think that the last R talk was regarding the letters I was sending and the acknowledgement of her new R with OM. That was May 20th. Since then I have DBed like mad, and am at the very least happy with the changes I've made in my attitude toward her choices, as well as my new ability to give her my unconditional love (which is at times difficult, I must admit).
I think I may just make an appointment with my DB coach and see what she thinks. I've been trying to put this off, but it has been about 3-4 weeks so it might be time again.
Maybe just go with more of the same and try that sideways attempt at meeting W's LL and monitor the results. I'm at least going to start by leaving a sticky note on her mail when she picks up the kids on Sunday that simply says "Thank You" (regarding her watching the kids while I was in Hawaii). I think she will know what it is for, but I believe that leaving it simple and kind of ambiguous will be more powerful than explaining why I'm thanking her. Aside from this, just keep doing what I'm doing, let her contact me unless I absolutely have to call her, and show her an upbeat, confident man who will be stronger, better, and wiser from all of this no matter what the outcome.
