Ok, today, I think, for the first time since she left, my W called me! Not much I hear you say, but it's a start. Well as you may or may not know my W has a key to my/our house. I know she has been here in the past weeks without letting me know & has taken some of her stuff that she left behind when she left..So today I get a call from my W asking if she can come over tonight & pickup a few things...asking?? really, wow, thats a first, I almost fell of the chair in shock.
Ok, joking aside, I'm not treating this with anything other than what it seems to be, she wants to come & get some things. However, taking acount of the fact that she has not called me at all in the 8 weeks since she left & she has been here 2-3 times without even asking or letting me know, I find it a little strange & maybe a very very little positive move...maybe?
Now, I won't actually be here & she knows this, as today I work until 9pm..Again, she has no reason to ask me if she can come over as she knows I would not be here anyway.
Well, thought I would share that & see what you think of it, maybe nothing at all but maybe a little positive?
Well still not heard anything about the big D talk that she wants, I guess no news is good news, or so they say.
I was talking to my bro about her saying I would have to file...My bro just looked at me & said, huh?? I don't get that, why would she say you have to file? I said I have no idea really. He thought about it for a minute then said...If she thinks you are ok with going forward with the D, & she must think you are, as she wants you to file?..Then why does'nt she just file herself & expect you to just sign the dam papers. I guess that makes some scence ?
Well just thought i'd do a little update even though there is no change
Thanks for the update. No change may be good news for you for a while (few months). Not sure, but kind of think so. Give her space, let her emotions/feelings from before de-intensify (is that a word?).
Good to hear from you mate, Nomopo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
I've not posted anything in my thread, as to be honest, there does not seem alot to have posted & also I have been a little busy over the last week or so too
Ok, well I have still not heard from W regarding the D. I will take this with caution but again no news is good news (I think). That said, I have not heard from my W regarding any other matter either
I do try to not concern myself as to why she has not been in touch about D, but it does cross my mind from time to time. I am leaning towards, because she did not get any fight or negative-ness form me when she said "she wanted" to talk about it, it's kinda messed up her game plan? I just know that if I was so sure I wanted something so bad I would move a mountain to get it, I would just file for the D & get it over with, without thought about what she was thinking of it.
She maybe thought, or was told by her army of supporters & cheerleaders that I would without doubt file for D myself as I would surley be angry about the whole sitch. An "old" normal reaction from myself would have been to be very negative about it & there is no doubt in my mind that after the initial shock I would have gone full steam ahead & all guns firing & told her I was filing. I have been very carm through most of this, that is something that i'm sure she can't figure out. The more I consider that the more I find it easy to be carm & find it some what amusing too. Of course this may come back to bite me lol, but right now it makes me smile
Ok, well I have still not heard from W regarding the D. I will take this with caution but again no news is good news (I think).
I think so. Time is on your side, IMO.
Originally Posted By: strange
I do try to not concern myself as to why she has not been in touch about D, but it does cross my mind from time to time. I am leaning towards, because she did not get any fight or negative-ness form me when she said "she wanted" to talk about it, it's kinda messed up her game plan? I just know that if I was so sure I wanted something so bad I would move a mountain to get it, I would just file for the D & get it over with, without thought about what she was thinking of it.
I agree with all of that.
Originally Posted By: strange
Of course this may come back to bite me lol, but right now it makes me smile
I don't really see it coming back to bite you. Who knows what will happen, but your approach/attitude definitely seem to me like the way to go.
Keep it up! Nomopo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
For the last few weeks I think I have become more detatched also. When I have called W I did so with the thoughts that I had to do so, things that appeared to be important at the time, financial things & such. Now as I sit here, I can see that I did'nt really need to call her for most of those anyway. I could have sorted whatever out, without speaking to W about it at all. So looking back I more than likely, on occasion used it as an excuse to create contact with her. As I have always stated those calls were friendly & happy & a few times, there was maybe some tiny tiny steps forward, making her laugh & her asking what i've been upto. I question this somtimes & ask myself should I continue to call weekly & see where it goes. Right now though I don't feel that there is anything I have to call her for. Calling & saying Hi & trying to engage her in small talk would just seem so unatural & odd to me now.
So for now I am not calling her for anything at all. I am going to see how that goes & maybe she'll call & maybe she wont, thats her choice But, if I can see that my calls have not been as nesersery as I first thought then she will see the same thing, execept I would imagine she would have seen it first?
I don't know if it's part of detachment or maybe part of just giving up (which I hope it is not)But I now see quite clear that if she wanted to talk then she would call & talk, very simple facts, she would call & talk if she indeed had any feelings of wanting to do so.
