Wouldn't it be other people having a problem with your bluntness? Unless it's unsolicited, bluntness is just honesty. How is being blunt begging? Isn't it just asking for what you want and need?
What I meant by "blunt" was "excruciatingly self-evident to most people" It's when I have to s-p-e-l-l things out over and over to the point of exasperation just to get a response, I guess what I'm saying is, it feels like too much damn work. The "begging" is how it feels (humiliating) to have to ask over and over and over and over, not just once or twice. I feel I'm being ignored because nobody who really cares about me would be so #$%^& oblivious.
Maybe I'm just not cut out to be in a relationship. Certainly not now. Too full of frustration and resentment.
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Your first H and second H appear to be totally opposite. Do you think there is some middle ground between the two that you need? Nothing got by your first H. Your second just let everything slide. Which is it that you want?
My first H was a fox. My current H is a golden retriever. I want a labrador. Here comes my dog analogy...
My H is like a sweet golden retriever, perfectly content to sit by your side and gaze up at you adoringly (I had a dog like this). If you throw a ball and ask him to go fetch, he just looks at the ball, then looks back to you, smiles, wags his tail. But doesn't move, no matter how much you try to entice him. Eventually, when you give up, he gets up and gets the ball but just lays down with it. And smiles and wags his tail.So now you have no dog and no ball. He understood what you were asking the whole time. It's just too little too late. So you sigh and accept that that's just the way he is. He doesn't fetch balls, play keepaway, or anything. He doesn't "get it." But he loves you. Suck it up.
Now, a labrador retriever not only finds the ball you threw, he brings it over to you and makes it clear he wants to play. You throw the ball, he runs and gets it AND even brings it back; you throw, he retrieves, so that now you have a game, give and take, interaction. Connection. And, incidentally, the same golden retriever is content to simply sit by your side while you play with the lab.
Yes, you're committed to the golden but you need a labrador to experience some vitality and genuine interaction; you're bored and lonely with the golden. Simple solution: get one of each, right?
What it sounds like both you and JR are saying is that I simply haven't been clear enough in communicating what's in my head to the other person.
One thing I haven't tried (ironically) is writing down my feelings and presenting them to my H THAT way. I write more clearly than I speak, and he probably absorbs information more easily by reading than listening.
