Okay not the kids so that rules that one out. He was quite old not to have been in a long term relationship or married before. Suppose being in the military could be why rather than commitment fears.
Is he still affectionate with you in other ways maybe not so intense as before but still kisses you passionately or has all that ended too?
It just seems strange for a man to turn off so suddenly but maybe you should check out the madonna whore thread. If he was single for a long time he may have become hooked on porn and masturbation and while the first 2 yrs were good while the chemicals were strong he could be pleasuring himself rather than you. Also TTHO's H was using porn instead of ML to her and my H was doing the same so is a possibility.
You really need to tell him how his withdrawal of affection and lack of sex is affecting you and if he tries to disniss it as you are the one with the problem don't let him off the hook.
Only other thing I can think of is if he maybe has had an ED moment and that often causes guys to withdraw affection and not want to start something in case things don't work properly but from what you've said that sounds unlikely or you would have noticed but just a thought.
Maybe someone else can come up with a better idea or help but know that you are not being unreasonable wanting a healthy sex life.
