chicki's drama continues

[Nomopo]

I think you are trying to get a reaction out of him and it is working. You said that you and H previously discussed him having the kids on the 4th, but getting them back to you in time for the fireworks. Then, through one of your kids you hear that he is taking the girls to OW's apartment to see the fireworks. This upsets you, and your emotions take over (understandable, chicki, but usually not good to act on emotions). So, you conclude ("get the impression"), without talking to H, that "he will not bring htem back in time for my plans." So, again rather than talk to H about the kids and who will have them when, you send him a text message to "remind him" of your plans and that he should "forget" taking the kids overnight as agreed. Emotions are now causing this situation to escalate. Then, you decided to "go dark" and stopped taking calls on your cell, stopped your work IM (the normal way for communications between you two during the day), and "screend" his calls (meaning ignored them). Do you see why he might be irritated? I understand you were frustrated by the idea that he might want to keep the kids for the fireworks, but do you think this was the best way to handle it? Even if you think he would have been a jerk when you called, you should rise above that chicki. Plus, your kids are now in the middle of this ugliness, and that is not good. You and H both need to do what is in the best interests of the kids at all times, not make them pawns in your issues and in your DB efforts. Going dark cannot include shutting down all lines of communication with H about who is going to have the kids when.

At one point you said "No, I did not call him. H NEVER answers his cell when I call & have the girls!!" This is wanting to be right. This is letting your emotions about what H does drive what you do. Do you want to be right, and play the blame game, or do you want to find solutions. You later said: "That is not y I did not call,but to show him he can not threaten all the time & will just jump to his beck and call!" Honestly, it looks like you are trying to play games with him, and I don't think that is going to help you reach any of your goals.

I am assuming he was calling b/c last week he was thinking about refinancing the house so he can "buy" me out of my deed and he can catch up on his bill,& mortagage. This is his new plan to get me to leave the house. Says he will give me enough money to start over so I can get my own place. I thought about it & no I don't think it's a good plan.

I doubt this is why he called, but if it is, fine. Listen to what he says, and either answer him if you know what you want to say or tellhim you will get back to him.

Last nite I made sure the girls and I were out of the house incase h came by. I will do the same tonite & I know this wil piss him off,but oh well......

This won't help anything, and again your daughters are becoming innocent victims of these events. You need to consider what is best for the girls, in my opinion. Keeping them out of the house to avoid H doesn't seem healthy for them, unless you feel he is a physical threat to them or you. (Sorry if I missed that in your sitch.)

What do you guys think??

Well, I pretty much gave you my two cents. If I were you, I would call him, apologize for not getting back to him sooner (and if pushed just say you've been busy with some things at work, or whatever), and then you two figure out what you are going to do with the girsl on the 4th. Remnind him of your earlier agreement about the fireworks, and be prepared to honor the agreement about him having the girls overnight.

Nomopo