Saffie, I do and would appreciate what I've got, or had, or hope to have again.
Physical beauty is important, no doubt, maybe expecially to men. But even when my W was quit a bit heavier, I told her she was beautiful and that I loved her (not enough apparently, but I did tell her, and meant it). See Sara's comment about how she told the dog ILY more than her husband. That's what was important to me, I wanted my W to say ILY and want me. I didn't care if she got fat (2 ceasarians, one overseas the wrong way).
Saffie, login covered it pretty well. When my W was sick, had thyroid issues and gained a considerable amount of wieght, I still thought of her as my beauty, the love of my life. Now? After a period of time hearing that I'm not what she wants, she isn't attracted to me in anyway and that type of thing? Even though that isn't said any longer, it's still painful. I hear my wife tell her friends in person or on the phone everyday, I love you or love you too.
You want to know the last time I heard those words? Maybe it is just where I am right now. It seems she is turning slowly back towards us and I find myself struggling with this question, do I want her? Seems silly doesn't it? To work this hard, and prepare myself to work this hard for a long time, only to begin to reap the rewards and find myself in this struggle.
Which is why I appreciate everyones contribution to this thread. I need to get my head clear on this so I can bolster my resolve. If that makes sense?
Not to sound too egotistical but I'm in better shape then I was at 20. Prior to my injury in January, I could bench 225 more times now, ran a faster 40 and 400, as well as being heavier.
Then again, part of how I make my living is training people.
