Leave her to hang herself...she will soon become a pest if she doesn't quit bugging him...make sure he understands that he can tell you anything and that you will keep your calm...you are NOT competing with her...to call her would make her think you are...and make you look like you had concerns...he is a big boy and tell her to leave him alone if he wants to... As for the ILY's...and that comment that he doesn't love her...give that time...I know he says he doesn't...but truth might be there are feelings that he is going to have to deal with...it took my H over a year to be able to NOT love OW anymore...now he realizes it might not have even been love but that is beside the point...and then it took over another year for him to say he loved me again...so be very very patient with him...don't ask...don't prompt...just show him by example that you love him unconditionally...but you won't share that love either... It sounds like things are doing good...and I agree...he doesn't belong in the basement...just remember to keep GAL...even with him home...make sure you take care of you...don't fall back into the ruts...make the marriage different...better...then it ever was before...it is hard...you will question if you are doing the right thing...you may even want to ask him to leave...it is hard after being apart to put things back together...but just hang in there...it gets easier after it gets harder...just like the leaving...the coming back has it's challenges...
