Yeah, it's just the weird, up/down behavior that is so hard to deal with.
Last night I fell asleep on our bed, (W was gone), watching a movie with the kids. W came home at 1AM, I awake in a weird daze. Stumble around getting the kids into their beds and stuff. Come back into our room and she wants to discuss the trip we are leaving on today, this is a 1AM, after I've been asleep for 2 hours. So I'm really out of it and can't seem to shake myself awake enough. She gets impatient because my answers are incoherent.
That wakes me up the rest of the way. I ask her if we can just talk about it tomorrow, I'm out of it right now and if I can go back to bed.
W says, not here. I said okay, whatever, I just have to get my stuff together. Then I get a little miffed myself and ask her what the big deal is, I'm sleepy, she just woke me up, why can't we just sleep here?
She says because it will just pull the rug out from under them, (meaning the kids), later, because they will get their hopes up...
F-it. I just went downstairs.
Today she just called all cheerful and wanting to know what time I can get out of here and we can get on the road?!?!
I'm becoming more and more convinced my IC is correct. In addition to the incredible internal battle she is fighting over this extensive sexual abuse, she is also probably in a full blown MLC.
I just have to maintain my sanity in the midst of this. I have to work on further detaching, and not talking to her when I'm half out of it.....
