Love, what is it, is it real, does it matter?

[LoginName]

OK, more cynasism and darkness, as I play devil's advocate. (without spell check, I might add. Please forgive the bad spelling)

Let's assume that:
1. love is a choice.
2. love is part of the plan for us, to help us 'lose ourselves' and to fulfill our purpose in life.
Question.
What if you go through life never finding one person to be married to, live with, lose yourself with? Are you a failure?
What if, despite your best efforts, the M/R fails? Are you a failure?
Does it matter who you 'lose yourself' with? Does it have to be the same person for the rest of your life? If so, why?
If my W decides she doesn't want to be with me and wants to divorce, I'll be OK. I'll survive, and I'll be able to be happy. I'll be the kind of person I should be and 'be there for me'. Will I have failed to fullfill my purpose in life?

If the answer to those questions is that we are not failures, and if love is a choice, then why not choose to move on to someone else, try again? Why is love 'special', at least over time?

Is self love (not conceit) the first love you should have?

I think there is something special in a love between two people over a life time. I think that together, a couple can acheive heights of closeness and understanding that enrich life and the world. There is something to love. I think part of DB is Loving and learning to Love each other, without so many questions. Just do it. But the questions interest me anyway.