Yes, makes sense. Lots of food for thought...I honestly didn't think guys COULD be that dense.
See, my first husband was anything but (neither, interestingly, was the OM) - he was lightning quick and nothing got by him. Plus, when he acted like he didn't care, it was because he DIDN'T CARE. And when I did X, he noticed and reacted. No brick was ever required. Of course, he lied, cheated and manipulated like a son of a b*tch, but at least I didn't feel like I was living with a brick wall. More like a hand grenade.
When my H and I parted yesterday (and I spent my first night at my apartment), it certainly didn't feel like we were done. Yet, at the same time, I just don't have the energy right now to try again, with even MORE clarity and handholding. I just don't have it in me.
(Good point re: Love Languages. I do remember when I read that book a year or so ago, unfortunately I was so p*ssed and fed up, I didn't CARE what his was and I didn't have the energy to AGAIN (90 days?????) play the patient kindergarten teacher. )
(Meanwhile I discovered Chapman also wrote "Hope for the Separated" so I have it on order from my library. What the heck. By the time it arrives I may be in the mood to read it.)
Right now, at this moment, I'm just tired. Physically and emotionally drained from moving this weekend. And crying.
But thanks, really, for the advice. I'm definitely digesting it.
Seems I have some issues about having to be blunt - it feels humiliating to have to resort to that (i.e. "if I were truly loveable I wouldn't have to work SO hard at getting my needs met") - like I'm begging. And there's the fear that the other party really isn't interested and my being blunt/begging is just making it worse.
There's the next topic of discussion with my IC, huh?
