Glad you are talking about it and working through it. I just know from my own experience that as long as you are coming at it from "Why now?" "How come you didn't do this before?" "What is the motivation now?" etc. kind of framework that no one wins. You don't win because you don't get to enjoy any of the love he is showing you, and he doesn't win because that love isn't accepted and eventually he'll stop giving it and his own love for you will be diminished because he won't be receiving any back.
Some good books on living in the moment and living for life are: The Secret The Passion Driven Life
Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. -Marcus Aurelius
