My bother in arms -- gallant hunter of your wife's heart.
You are doing fine. Good work.
It's seems right now you are very fragile. You are teetering between detatching and chasing her.
She's not going anywhere. Your chasing will push her out the door.
The key in the LRT and detaching is not to try and trick her. They key is to get yourself to a point in your life where you don't really need her and you stop living in fear. When that happens -- then you can start REALLY living: with passion, open-ness, joy and purpose. That, my friend is attractive to any woman. Maybe it will be attractive to your wife.
The deeper question is: what kind of man do YOU want to be? Look at your life in the mirror and ask yourself the hard questions:
1. What do I want? 2. What is the purpose of my life? 3. Am I just getting by in my career or am I thriving and making a difference? 4. Do I have loyal male friends in my life who will challenge me and help me to live with passion? 5. What spiritual disciplines am I pursuing? 6. What am I doing tht brings me joy? 7. What hobbies will really stretch me and really gratify me?
I'm asking myself these questions now. Join me in becoming more of man who lived with passion.
My thoughts:
1. Don't send the letter. It's dripping with, "please, please, please come back to me." 2. Get her a small anniversary gift because it's who YOU are: a thoughtful gentleman. Skip the card. Have her look into your clear, purposeful eyes -- that's the card she needs to learn to read. 3. Don't take this the wrong way: real men don't ask their wives for advice on what kind of tattoo to get. It shows weakness. At this stage, it will turn her off if you ask her for this kind of advice. At the early stages of DB activities I made the mistake of asking my wife for advice on things: she interpreted this as weakness and said things like, "Can't you make your own decisions?" Remember, the sexual polarity may be off kilter in your marriage now. She's taking on an assertive, "I don't need anyone's advice" kind of persona. Your re-masculinization might prove attractive to her. Find some other women to get advice if you must. What do YOU want for a tatto? What do you want to say about yourself? WHO ARE you? It's a permanent mark. It should speak clearly about you. I don't know -- I'm thinking more "warrior-male" than nice decoration. DO you casually, permanently mark your body unless the mark really MEANS something? When I was 14, I took an intense form of Okinawan Karate. One of the black belts has the Okinawan Karate symbol tatooed on his forearm. That says something to me. Nicer than just a floral arrangement. If I ever got one, it might be a Celtic Cross.
The reason my wife strayed is because I lost myself. I was a depressed, emotionally shut down, indecisive man who was floundering in his career. I was a sweet, warm, nice guy. I'm very funny and really smart. But my wife already has several girlfriends, she doesn't need me to be one.
