Hey Ron, Nice report. IMO her sharing with you about affair was very positive even if it was difficult to listen to. Means she cares and wants closure. Also means she wants to put the cards on the table rather than hide.
It was all your fault? Why not. Whatever. Want to be happy or right? You accepted your real role and maybe now she is trying to also. But it is still easier to blame you - her ego is still a work in process.
Again, good job. You have the right outlook and I agree the distance will help improve things further.
