Then maybe getting out of town, even before September, would cheer you up a bit? I'm a road trip person; I love that kind of thing. Maybe you could get away for the weekend.
Or DON'T get out of bed. Sleep in and read. If it makes you feel better--wasting time can be a complete joy.
I think you have to treat the depression very seriously, though. It would be a good thing if you had a doctor who would spend time talking with you about it. If you feel that you were over-medicated before (and I have to admit that I'm a convert to anti-depressants), you might want to take a look at the book, The Feel Good Handbook (author is Burns, I think?), which has been a big seller for years, for good reason, and suggests sensible ways of working through depression.
I know those blue days. They make you feel helpless. You can be absolutely convinced there's no hope. Sometimes it helps me to think: well, it's some wiring short-out in my brain. The gloom I'm seeing is not how things ARE. It's my perception at this moment. A day from now I'll be completely happy--yet nothing will really have changed, except me.
I hope you'll arise from that bed (don't know what time it is there) and check on that horse. I've totally worn myself out blabbing advice I hardly ever take myself. Hope you get to feeling less blue!
(Sorry saffie I need to ask Delia a question.) My W main problem is she is not happy. I think she has a problem with depresion. Do you think this would be a good book for her?
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yes, I think the book would be helpful to anyone. The title may actually be The Feeling Good Handbook--can't quite remember! It's been in print for something like 15 years at least, and has probably been revised several times.
I was a HORRIBLE wife in the early years of my marriage, before I figured out that the depression I had lived with for years, which had seemed normal to me, was destroying everything I loved--making me completely impossible to satisfy, suspicious, self-centered, obsessive, and angry for no apparent reason. Hey, and the list goes on. Just LOVE to wallow in my badness.
The Feeling Good Handbook didn't turn my life around, but I remember being very, very impressed by it. The author talks knowledgeably about depression, because he's been there.
Another interesting book--very short--is William Styron's memoir about his own very disabling bout with depression: Darkness Visible. The book is so short and powerful that people used to sit on the bookstore floor and read it in one go.
I guess that the trick is, how do you present your W with these books? Can't just leave them under her pillow with one perfect red rose. But, luckily, it sounds like this subject is one that you two can talk about. You may want to do some reading yourself. I think that depression is harder for a non-depressed person to understand than something obvious and physical.
Sorry I have taken a while to get back.tHE PROVERBIAL s*@T has hit the fan here . My husbans is no longer talking to his family fter trying to reconcile things with them yesterdat and so my feelings are all jumbled up. I am glad that he is 100% behing me but it is not nice finding out that people who you respected are just complete no brainers I guess we just have to see what happens now.
Love Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Just goes to show, Saffie. You kept your moral compass, and didn't do anything stupid after your husband's affair. So when this story came up, where it was the brother in law's word against yours, your husband knew he could believe you. That is really a good thing. That is the strength of trust.
You are going through the wringer right now, just what you need to be dealing with right now! It is great that H is with you, its nice to know they trust you!!! Its amazing how family's can be so screwed up isn't it! I don't have alot of advice for the situation, but you are doing a good job, and just remain calm and hold your head high! How is everything going otherwise?
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Actually it feels really good that H has put his family in their place and made it quite clear where his loyalties are. I do feel really sorry for him that he has had to make this break with his family and so I am vowing to be EXTRA EXTRA nice to him now
Logging on and reading all your comments makes me feel so warm - big hugs to you all
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I think, in time, he will mend fences with his mother. His sister will be harder. As for his BIL -- I think your husband will have nothing to do with him.
Saffie, be kind to your husband -- but don't lose yourself. He is showing strength and protecting you from his family.
. My husbans is no longer talking to his family fter trying to reconcile things with them yesterdat and so my feelings are all jumbled up. I am glad that he is 100% behing me but it is not nice finding out that people who you respected are just complete no brainers 
I guess we just have to see what happens now.
