Thank you very much, OF. That really is what I needed. You seem to hit everything right on the head. I guess I just needed to hear someone else say it.
I was listening to a financial talk radio show the other day. A woman called in and was distressed that her son decided to skip college for now and move in with his girlfriend. She was helping support him by paying for his car insurance among other things. The talk show host said she had to stop doing that. He said she was enabling him in making bad decisions. He said she needs to practice some "tough love" and tell him if he feels he's a grown up then he needs to support himself fully.
She was also letting her son do chores around her house for money and he told her that has to stop too. He said she needs to tell her son, "Go out and get a job, grown up." He said it's called tough love for a reason, because it's tough to do.
Anyway, that conversation made me realize I am also an enabler. I am making my wife's bad decisions as easy on her as possible. That's when I really thought I should go through with the divorce. Maybe the threat of actually filing will be enough to wake her up since she seems to think I am going to wait forever. I suspect it probably won't though. But, I can't continue to let her drag me down with her.
Her bank account was overdrawn and she asked if I could give her a little extra this payday. I told her I simply couldn't because I don't have it (truth). I probably should have just told her, "No, you get the amount we agreed upon and nothing more."
