If this has been going on for a while, I think it may be time to let go. My advice? Get a legal separation so you're protected and then go on about your life as though you were divorced (with the exception of dating). Don't file for D unless you feel it's necessary. Stop making excuses for her. Stop hanging out with her. Try to avoid giving her the excuse that *you* filed for D. Don't play her game and, one way or the other, she will eventually have to make a decision...work on reconciling or file for D herself. At least you'll know and *she'll* have to take responsibility.
Originally Posted By: MyWifeHasGoneCra
I still have that nagging voice in the back of my head that says, "Just hang in there and one of these days you'll figure out the one thing you can do to get her back."
Tune it out. There isn't...and you can't. She'll try to blame you, but don't accept it. She could dump the OM, agree to counseling, and stop playing the blame game, but she doesn't want to. It's as simple as that. Nothing you can do will change it until *she* wants to.
Originally Posted By: MyWifeHasGoneCra
I talked to her tonight again and now that nagging voice is louder. It tells me, "There has to be something you can do by the way she's talking."
If you can't handle talking to her, stop. Keep your conversations short and business. Anything else comes up, make an excuse to cut the conversation short.
Originally Posted By: MyWifeHasGoneCra
I do remember she complained that I got her absolutely nothing for mother's day. She said if I couldn't afford a card (I literally had $2 to my name on that day) that a hand-written one would have meant more anyway.
My heart bleeds! More excuses...if only you'd said this, if only you'd done that, if only you hadn't said the other thing. Institute a no-dump-on-me policy.
Originally Posted By: MyWifeHasGoneCra
She said when we went out to dinner she was enjoying spending time with me. But then I had to go and start bringing up the past again and make her feel terrible about herself.
So quit doing it. The next time she suggests dinner, tell her you don't want to since she says you always end up making her feel terrible about herself and you don't want to do that.
I'd stay as far away from D8's questions as possible. If she has questions like that, tell her it's something she should ask her mother. You are enabling your WAW's bad behavior by helping her avoid the difficult/painful aspects of what she's doing.
