I'll try to advise you. Sounds like your are off to a good start. Especially if she notices. It seems to me the hard thing about the 180 is, if the other person's not looking, how can it work? You can work from the books Divorce Busting and Divorce Remedy and read the topic papers on this site. Especially the quiz, I think that's really good.
Sounds like you basically have a good marriage. Does she know this person, or is it a stranger on the internet? That scares me. People lie about who they are on the internet all the time. I wouldn't go alone to meet an internet friend. (Except maybe the people on this site.)
Anyway, I think in the end, that marriage repair is not a do-it-yourself project. If and when she comes back, you should get some real help.
