Things never get boring. Late last night, I received a text message from my ex. The correspondence was as follows.
ex: Can I come home? me: Are you ok? ex: Can I call you tomorrow? me: You can call now if you want ex: Going to bed, too emotional me: I will be up if you change your mind
I haven't heard from her today so not sure what this was all about.
The ex called me today and apologized if she caused any concern or worry. She said being alone all weekend made her start missing our son and really got her down. She said she never called because she just didn't feel like talking to anyone.
She talked of her upcoming travel schedule and how hard that would make it for her to visit our son. She began crying so I did my best to console her. I told her she could have called. At a minimum she could talk it through to someone who understands. I told her that you never know but I may be able to help in some way.
She responded that no one could make this better except for her and she wished our son lived with her. This conversation was going no place fast so I tactifully bowed out.
She later sent an email with a link to job listings in my area with a note that stated there wasn't anything available for her.
Time to step back out of the picture for a few days. The focus is exclusively on our son right now and there wasn't any mention of missing me in that conversation. In fact, I wasn't even considered comfort material.
Soooo, I have put the white horse back in the stable. I made a wise decision not to gallop to her rescue because I would have been the last person she wanted to see.
Soooo, I have put the white horse back in the stable. I made a wise decision not to gallop to her rescue because I would have been the last person she wanted to see.Jet
Good call.
Jet, maybe she is finally going through what she needs to go through.
How does it feel to be in the drivers seat for a change?
God Bless, Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
The daily emails/text messages have continued. I was expecting a withdrawal with no contact but the "good morning" and "have a nice day" comments have kept coming. I respond with a likewise gesture and keep undercover the remainder of the day. Don't want to get picked off by a sniper.
She suggested that you take a trip alone? Man, pack the lube and the sex toys. You're going to be riding high.
SuitedUp,
I have to tell you mate. I was having a pretty marginal day. I spent a few hours talking with a female friend about her D. It has been three years for her; she is really hitting a low point on the roller coaster. Now, your comments above really made me laugh! You have a way with words....
Take Care,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
My ex arrives tomorrow to spend the week at my house. She and our son are planning at least one overnight trip someplace but the rest will be spent locally.
Our son is currently visiting my family and I was going to pick him up tomorrow so he would be here upon her arrival. She called today and asked if I could wait until Monday to pick him up so we could have some time alone to talk. So as it stands, this will mark the first time we have been together without our son present.
She also invited me to a concert she wants to attend in October. Like sands through an hour glass........
The ex arrived Sunday night and we had a nice dinner with lots of conversation. This is where things stand at the moment.
She said that she loves me but she wants to make absolutely certain that this is what she wants and if we do this, will things be different enough that she will be happy? She doesn't want to disappoint me or our son by moving too fast. She says her goal is to find a job and a place to live in my town and go from there. Move slowly and see where it leads. She doesn't want any closeness or to give any affection. She just wants to hang out. She said it is with me and our son that she feels safe and secure.
We were sharing some rather soft and touching sentiments when instinctively, I kissed her. She started to cry and when I asked what was wrong, she said she didn't know. She said it wasn't tears of sadness but she just didn't know what she was feeling.
She isn't willing to commit to a "do what it takes" approach. She has repeatedly indicated that moving is her first goal. She said moving in with me is not an option as she would be uncomfortable with that.
My personal feelings on the matter is this. She continues to lead her life in her town with OM. I suspect she sees moving as a natural way to end things with him and then start fresh here exploring putting her family together. She is firm that she wants to do that but she seems to be stuck on not exploring a connection with me until she is physically present in the same area.
I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I take a stance that the train is leaving and she is welcome to get on board now and kick the OM to the curb? Do I continue to exercise patience and allow her to make the move and see what happens? I suppose I'm wondering why do we have to wait until she is physically here to start exploring if she is willing to make a committment to trying.
