Phoenix Spark, I didn't mean to sound so discouraging but my point was pretty much what you said, we have to sit down and take stock. My personal experience is but mine, I share it for what it is worth. Being Me has to decide at some point how she wants to approach the sitch, I found having no plan meant no hope! I encourage her to look for hope but also recognize if there is none. As you said, it also may mean being able to accept those dry spots for a while too. But there is nothing anti-DB about knowing when you've reached your limit. Hey, I hung in for 3.5 years I'm not someone out there screaming "quit" everybody, I say get a plan, it kept me going!!! Sorry, if I sounded too negative.
Very true, if you don't have a plan, you don't see any progress, you won't see any reason to continue. I am hesitant to put out the quick to bail attitude. This is a very frustrating process, so those who can't handle it are quick to bail. I have seen Beingme fight a huge fight. She as at a point in the process where she has to decide what she is able to accept or not. Ideally, her H should get his act together and be trying hard to meet her needs. But as we know here, that doesn't always come when expected.
As an old DB friend of Beingme, I want to see her succeed, but I know she is capable of making her own decision. I try not to push her either way. It sounds like you meant well, it just sounded a little negative and quick to decision, which kind of raised my fur. To me I think Beingme knows what she wants in her R, better than most of us. She also does not seem the type to settle for less. So I think her H needs to step up, take FULL responsibility for his M, or his days are becoming numbered. Which is sad, I hate to see apathy destroy something so important. But this happens too often in everybody's life.
I agree with both of ya! Thanks for the encouragement, and the confidence you have in me. Phoenix, 'apathy' is such a good description of what my H seems to feel about our M. Sometimes, there is a glimmer of interest, but it seems forced. At this time, I am going to give him space to figure out what he wants to do about his job, and career. He has been under a lot of stress (with USA immigration re work visa, and the project itself), that I am not wanting to add to it. I did say to him, yesterday that I felt like I was in the way in his life. A little self-pitying, I guess, but it's how I was feeling at that time.
Anyway, I guess you can surmise that I am back from Young Women's Camp ... got back yesterday afternoon. It was a fun camp, although very busy, and tiring. The lake was beautiful, and it was so refreshing to swim in. The weather was perfect ... not too hot, but not too cold. It was a pretty rough and ready camp, so no showers or flushing toilets, so you can guess what the first thing was that I did after getting home .... yup, had a lovely hot shower!!!! Nice to be home.
D14 is busy getting ready for her Air Force cadet basic training camp. They leave tomorrow morning for 2 weeks, and she still has to put her name tags on her uniforms, find out where the bus depot is where they are meeting, and pack. Gosh! I'm going to miss her. H is leaving for the USA on Monday afternoon, and will be back next Friday night, for the weekend. So, it'll just be me and S20 at home, and he's still at college, and works a lot, and is finally making friends, so goes out a bit. I think I may sign up for a first aid course. My last certification expired last year, and I like to keep it current, if possible. Should keep me busy, plus I am still writing, and doing a lot of reading.
So, that's all my news. I see many of you had a great July 4. Congrats on your country's birthday.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Survived another Girl Camp, congratulations. D16 is going back for year 6(?), she loves it. It's scheduled for next week. Going to have a day away with W this weekend, should be good. Out to events in the big city.
July 4th was great, helped sitch also. Just have one more hurdle to find our way back. Of course a R talk with solid words of commitment would help. More later.
Thanks for the bump, Phoenix! I do post on other threads, but haven't had much to say on my own. Life still moving along, although I do feel somewhat stuck at the moment ... not just the M, but other family issues.
Just floating along, 'til I get muh footing!
I do still have my goals:
hanging out with kids spending time with H over weekends when he's home writing painting gardening been making cherry jam and preserves with cherries from the Okonagan area
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks for the update. I worry when I don't see much being said on the thread. It's been a very roller coaster week, but I think I can make it through. Just a war of wills.
Cherries are yummy, but I am getting a bit tired of pitting them. The jam turned out really well, and S20 and H love it on toast.
Gosh, how busy I have been, and yet I feel I have gotten nothing done. Weird!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Nice to be home. 
