I just want her to come home!

[Nomopo]

TWO STEPS FORWARD THRE BACK!!![/quote]

I don't see your family days as that bad. You can't control MIL, and you can't control what your W did. Now, on to what you said:

I told her, sweety I made a committment to this M and our S. I will stand for those, but after you file for divorce and time passes I will have new priorities and new committments, and I will stand for those. I don't take my promises lightly, but if we divorce I can no longer stand for you.

Sounds reasonable. You said I want to save our R/M, but if we can't, yes, I will move on. You might have added, something like I want to save our R/M, but I do not control that completely. But no biggie. You were honest, and if she didn't already know this she needed to hear it.

Well that did it, day over, pack up and they are gone.

So she get mad, That's her issue. This may end up helping you, and I don't think you should have lied about it. Maybe you could have not answered it, but it sounded pretty darn direct. I guess you might have said, I haven't thought that far in the future, or I don't know. But you sure as hell couldn't say, yes, I will always be waiting here for you, I will never move on, even after you leave me, divorce me, marry another man, have another family and die.

Scary thing is, the MIL is trying to call me. I let it go to VM, but she is a very determined women. I will not be surprised if she is at my doorstep one day after work this week.

I'd probably try to take it easy with MIL. She may hurt your cause if she pushes to much. You might tell her: "MIL, I love your D and I am willing to do everything I can to save this M, but she needs some time and space to do some thinking, and pushing her right now, and trying to make her see, is just going to cause her to dig her heels in and defend herself. It's going to make her more determined to prove that what she is feeling and doing are right. I think we all need to give her some space and time. For me, I know I made some mistakes in the past, and I helped contribute to this mess, so I am using this opportunity to focus on my role in this this, improving myself, and trying to become the person/husband/father I want to be. I do appreciate your concern and support, but I think W needs to figure this out for herself. If she wants our help and advice, she'll ask for it."

What do you think?