I agree with Sara that owning a Playboy magazine is not a crime. And if, like Sara and her H, you both enjoy it, great.
The problem is that you have continued with this type of stuff, and EXCALATED it, during your marriage while hiding this side of yourself from your wife.
You did it in part because you felt you had a right to, and she was being unreasonable. But if she was unreasonable then you should have insisted on your "rights" rather than lie to her and hide stuff.
It is not unreasonable for her to assume that if your sex life together has gone downhill, and you are looking and talking online, then you are giving these strangers attention that you should be giving to her. Don't get into a "chicken or egg" argument about it. SHE has done nothing wrong.
