What's caused him to think? You being unavailable. He's feeling your absence. When you are stong and show backbone YOU become a the respectable, vibrant woman he's attracted to.
Last time I told you I felt you were moving too fast. I'm stumped right now.
Talk to your counselor. See that he/she says. Perhaps establishing a way for you two to rebuild trust. Perhaps he needs to move back on the condition of 1. No contact with OW. 2. A commitment to counseling to help you piece after the affair. But be careful...you can't drive/push the piecing stage. He needs to. You need to state your boundaries, stick to them and allow him to run over the hurdles.
I'm only guessing here. My experience is that when my wife told me her affair ended, in processing the anger, I lost my steam for GAL. This stalled the piecing.
If you read the LRT, what's common is when the WAS returns, we tend unleash and smother them in neediness, clinginess, controlling behavior, etc. And then they run away. Sound familiar? What we THINK we want is our life back. Actually the old life is what led to the affair. What you REALLY want is a new dynamic relationship that works for both of you. You can't just be a scarred woman who has her huband back.
The deepedt question, HB, is are YOU any different in a positive way? The last post to you about keep GAL even when he comes back is key. I haven't heard much about your GAL activities: I've heard alot about how you want to get him back.
OK...so he's back, and THEN what? How has the dynamic changed if you have not really grown more strong, joyful and secure?
Is he coming back to a weeping, broken, "I'll take you back in a heartbeat" HB? Then why won't he do it again? LRT is sometimes just that, a "technique". It gets his attention, it makes him relaize what he's losing. But -- GAL is what helps you build something new.
