Hi T2SP (what's that mean anyway?)Trying2StayPositive. I used to have it spelled out but for some reason it got shortened on here and said Trying2Sta so I changed it to just T2SP. I don't remember how I found your thread, maybe you posted on one of mine, but it sounds like our sitchs may share a lot of similarities. You seem to be further into this than I am though. Maybe you can give me some pointers?I have been at this since February of 2005. I don't know what pointers I can give you. All I can say is I take one day at a time. I don't even think of the future. I try to stay in positive moods. Of course that isn't that easy at times. Whenever I start feeling down, I try to think of something that happened that was good. I look for small signs, not big ones. I try not to expect too much from H so when he turns me down on things or doesn't email me back that it doesn't upset me. I try to let things go at his pace.
I have felt guilty complaining too.I don't feel guilty complaining, I feel guilty when things are going good for me and everyone else is going thru a tough time. I hate posting positive things when my friends on here are sitting at the bottom. My sitch, quickly, is, she left, she came back, she took a job out of state, we are friends, she will have my daughter with her, I will have my son with me. The general plan is that when my son finishes H.S. we'll all move to her state - if she wants me (and if I want her).This is a good thing. You are leaving your options open. We get along really well. She won't say ILY, she sleeps in a separate room. We will be separated, though not legally.H and I are separated but not legally. We just tend to live our own lives right now. Neither of us is doing anything that we wouldn't if we were still living together. We are married, we just live apart and don't discuss romantic things. Heck, we don't discuss us much at all. It works better that way. We are learning to be friends again.
It's hard (although I know many have it worse) to 'just be friends'. You've kept this up for 5 years?Only 2 years. I will keep it up for 5 if that is what it takes though. Is it getting easier?It gets easier in a weird way. I still have up days and down days but I find myself being able to live. I don't worry about what H is doing or not doing as much as I used to. I don't dwell on it to the point it ruins my day anymore. What's your philosophy, what's your plan?I plan to wait for H to come out of the MLC. I plan on living my life to the fullest with or without him. Right now, I am not out there looking for love or anyone to share my life with. If this goes on too long and I do find myself wanting to be with someone else or meeting someone and falling in love again, I will deal with it when that time comes. For now, I am content (to a point) waiting for my H. I have no desire to be with anyone else. I love my H more now than I did when he walked out the door. Do you try to predict a future, or are you taking it as it comes?No future predicting. It only causes heartache. I live one day at a time. I live one baby step my H makes at a time.
