OneWish is dead on. Give it some time. Stop the negative cascade that is happening. You didn't get sucked in. You were given the opportunity to show you stuff. You did. She sampled, now let her think. She is likely fighting an internal battle right now, re; are the changes real? can I go through with this and make it on my own? IF the changes are real, it would be better to make a life with him, but how do I know?
My SIL was a WAW. Now divorced. She filled my in on her mental process numerous times as she would talk to me before, during and after her D. There were times where it just sucked, the kids were hurting, she was hurting, life was hard. So she would wonder, has he changed? She would tentatively reach out, but after just a few hours, sometimes moments, she would realize he is still the same and she just can't do it no matter how hard it is to go it alone.
The lesson I took from that is, when my W reaches out I have to stay consistent. My changes were and are for me. I lost track of me. In the beginning and even in recent months there have been times where she has reached out and it was so great, it was like we were newly wed, just incredible. Yet, when she would start to pull away, I would freak out and pursue, chase, all of the wrong things. I should have, and now do, just let her go. She was testing me and I didn't do so well on the test. The test was, will he still respect my wishes regarding time and space? Recently I have been passing the test but it took a long time for me to recognize the test.
Again, think of it like a wall she is running behind. Make your side of the wall a celebration. Lots of fun, happy, light. If she wants to come out, cool, if not, the party is still on. When she does come, let her hang and leave without issue. The easier it is to come and go the easier it's going to be for her to just come and stay.
