tyler, Do I want her? Yes, I'm thinking about that part too. Often. I see her in the morning, and I look into her eyes, and I think yes, I want her, it's worth it. Other times, I see how large her belly is, or how she acts like her mother, and I think why the h@ll am I putting up with this? I could be alone and happier, and have a chance to find someone else.
If these kind people are correct, and love is a choice, then it can be a tough one. Why would I choose to love her if she hasn't chosen to love me? If it hurts so much, and feels better when I detach, why not keep detaching?
And then there is the advice the DB coach gave; back away, but don't turn away. In other words, keep giving her space, but respond and engage when she wants. But then I ask why, why put in the effort? Once I start backing away, it gets easier to keep going. Strange, terrible, balancing act - staying engaged while detaching. It can be done, I'm doing it, but it's not easy.
For me, tyler, I do want her. Maybe that will change. Maybe she'll decide she doesn't want me. I want her to love me, and I want to love her and to show my love.
What's your story tyler? Why are you asking these questions?
M45, W45,S15, D10, Bomb 10/3/06, Moved back in 11/6/06, finally ILY 9/07 last thread
